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  #21  
Old 05-15-2013, 08:22 PM
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Originally Posted by sassafras View Post
Yes, it's very very hard for me to understand this point of view. On one level I do, but on another level I don't. I don't think I'm personally capable of it... but I'll most likely never really be tested on that. And my dogs have all so far been pets first and then "let's figure out what we can do together" second rather than loving any particular activity or sport SO much that I've gotten a dog specifically for doing it.

I know a few people who do have dogs coming in and out of their lives for sports or obedience or conformation or whatever, and it's hard for me to truly wrap my head around. Not that I think it's badwrong or they are terrible people, it's just so foreign to me. I mostly just file it under "tastes differ" as long as dogs are rehomed thoughtfully and responsibly if they don't work out for someone.
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  #22  
Old 05-15-2013, 08:26 PM
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I don't know, I figure if your dog isn't working out you rehome it. What creates a bond? The happiness? So if you're unhappy with the dog rehome it. It's probably more fair for the dog to find someone who wants it around.
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  #23  
Old 05-15-2013, 08:32 PM
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I'm very "meh" about it.

As long as the dog being rehomed isn't being hurt in any way (including emotionally - some dogs just would NOT do well being rehomed) and it is being rehomed responsibly (going to a responsible home), I really don't care what you do with your dog.

Would I be able to rehome a dog simply because we didn't bond? I don't know. Gracie and Cooper are being rehomed, but it is for more reasons than that they just don't "fit". And they will only be going to someone who is family/close friend.
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  #24  
Old 05-15-2013, 08:41 PM
Whitewave Whitewave is offline
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Depends on the situation.

If the dog gets along with my other dogs and causes me no major problems, I would probably keep it unless a more suitable home came along.

If I didn't like the dog or it totally disrupted my pack even if I did like the dog, would rehome.

I've done both. Ripley was an Amstaff I adopted when my Dobe was dying. She was sweet and never caused me any issues, I would have kept her forever if needed, but my roommate ask to take her when she left and I said yes. If she called me today and said I can't keep Ripley, I would take her back no questions asked, but we never had a strong bond, but she just went along with whatever we were doing and never caused an issue.

JD- I loved him, but he was a PITA. He disrupted my life daily. He had to be kept separated from the other dogs. He destroyed things, he had more energy than I could deal with. He was an escaped artist and I ended up having to chain him as that was the only way I could contain him. He tore crates apart, went thru windows, jumped 6ft fences. It was to the point since he also disrupted all my neighbors lives as well, I was going to have to euthanize him. But one of my coworkers stepped up and offered him the perfect home. He has acreage on a farm, got to go hog hunting which he did before my Brother dumped him on me, got to help round up the cattle, load them on/off the truck, had dozens of critters to pester from chickens to cows, swimming pool, acreage to run on, neighbors that didn't mind him in their yard and lots of people to give him attention. A better home for him and years later, he is still doing fabulous.
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  #25  
Old 05-15-2013, 08:46 PM
JessLough JessLough is offline
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To be brutally honest, I don't agree with it. At all. When I take in an animal, I take it in for life, and the only reason they would be leaving would be either if they are a foster or if I was physically unable to take care of the pet any longer.

Renegade and I are just recently starting to bond, within the last 6 months. He's been here 3 years. Rehoming was never an option, and never crossed my mind. When I took him, I promised to be there beside him until he's no longer alive.

Sure, pets can adapt... But they shouldn't be forced to.




But, I just have strong views on the subject.
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  #26  
Old 05-15-2013, 08:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AdrianneIsabel View Post
I don't know, I figure if your dog isn't working out you rehome it. What creates a bond? The happiness? So if you're unhappy with the dog rehome it. It's probably more fair for the dog to find someone who wants it around.
This basically.
I don't feel like adopting/buying an animal is an eternal commitment of "you will be with me until you die" I DO think it's a commitment of "you will be taken care of, you will be loved, you will have a home, you will be safe" sometimes things just don't work out.

I think dogs should have homes that want them, not just care for them.

Of course on one hand I've always thought ditching a dog who didn't perform a certain way or act the way you wanted them to was a bit..harsh.. but in reality, what would be the point of a dog living in a home with a person who isn't happy with it? where the dog is a constant disappointment, where both parties are frustrated or trying to make something work that just..isn't a right fit.
I do not like the attitude of shame of "YOU MADE YOUR BED WELL YOU LIE IN IT!" I feel it's detrimental to both parties involved. Unhappy dog, unhappy person.. but hey, they don't have to deal with internet judgements about "giving up" or "ditching the dog" so hey, what else matters right? IMO
If a home can be found that loves the dog for who he/she is, and where the dog will be happier.. I feel like,why not?

All relationships take work and of course I don't mean to jump ship if every dog isn't a heart dog right away. But if you try and try and it just isn't a right fit and you get frustrated and the dog isn't what you want and your idea of fun isn't their idea of fun than I feel like sometimes rehoming to the right home isn't "giving up", it's being strong enough to let go and let them be happier somewhere else.

I get flak for this all the time but I've re-homed 2 dogs and feel 0 regrets. I know for a solid fact that those dogs are happier now than they were with me as an owner so at the end of the day... peanut gallery be damned.

It's an incredibly personal decision. There is no formula, no amount of time, no "well you can if the dog is x, y, z and you are x,y,z", it's persona, there are million of factors and I think as long as the dog ends up in a loving responsible home... I have no qualms.
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  #27  
Old 05-15-2013, 09:16 PM
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Originally Posted by Laurelin View Post
Honestly, I don't get it. It's probably not a popular opinion but I would suck it up and work on the bond. I made a big commitment bringing that dog home for life to become the owner they need. The only way we're even going to consider rehoming would be a situation where I don't think I could give a fair home to it or my previous dogs.

In my experience the biggest stumbling block to bonding with a dog can be you. I spent a long time not bonded to Trey but it was my fault for not appreciating who he was. He wasn't 'my kind of dog' AT ALL. But he was a great dog in his own Trey-like way. It was MY hangups that were the problem, not him. Once I stopped focusing on why he wasn't XYZ and started focusing on what he was it got better. He taught me so much and I am very glad we did not give him up. I don't think I really felt very bonded to him until he was 8 or so. I think several other family members never bonded to him. He was a very hard dog to bond with. Once it came though, it came hard and i miss him more than any other dog i've had.

People will do what they think is best but it always makes me sad when I hear people say they don't like a dog they live with. I don't get it at all. I don't think it's a fair attitude to have towards the dog.

Like I said, probably an unpopular opinion but there it is.

ETA: I'm referring to what *I* would do, not what anyone else should do. If someone takes the time to responsibly rehome a dog, that is their prerogative and they will hear no grief from me even if I don't like the decision.
This.

Personally, I just really like dogs in general. I have an "ideal" in mind of doggness, but truth be told, I'm not that picky about the details of a dog's personality. I tend to easily appreciate individuals for who they are, there are very few true deal beakers for me as far as a dogs personality is concerned.
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  #28  
Old 05-15-2013, 09:19 PM
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I have a dog that I'm not bonded to (Rusty). He is just a general PITA and for the life of me (and I have tried HARD) I can not get attached to him. I like him just fine. But he's just not the dog for me.

He is actually my other dogs (Bentley) litter mate. The difference is we have had Bentley since he was a puppy. Rusty was originally my cousins dog and came to live with us when he was 1 year old. The only reason I even agreed to take him was because he was my dogs brother and I thought it would be good for them both.

He came to us un-trained, intact and VERY fearful of everyone and everything. Obviously my cousin (actually mostly her kids) mis-treated him (which is another reason I agreed to take him).

He is however, VERY attached to me, and my husband is bonded to him. And him and my other dog are bonded to each other to a degree. So he's not going anywhere. But if it wasn't for my husbands attachment to him, I *think* I would have found him a more suitable home by now.
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  #29  
Old 05-15-2013, 09:57 PM
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Also, I didn't add in my earlier post, but sometimes I think it also just depends on the dog and what exactly is going on. I can live with a dog I'm not very connected to and do so happily, but I guess IME it's a little dog dependent/personality dependent.

I live with a dog currently that took me a really long time to bond with, and I still don't have a big connection with her. But I worked on it and this is a dog I wouldn't dream of rehoming. While I may not feel the same toward her as I do my other dogs, I still love her very much and can't imagine her elsewhere ever. And she is very attached to somebody else in my family, so between that and everything I do for and with her, we're all plenty happy.

Honestly, rehoming is one of the most difficult things a person can do, and when I made the decision to do so, it wasn't without heartache and a lot of thought. I don't think I could ever do it again, but I don't regret it for a second. In Spring's case, I felt that was what was best and I'm glad I did it. It took a huge load of stress off of me, and she's one hundred times happier for it. My decision to rehome her, as I said, was based on more than just a lack of a connection, so that's why there was stress involved, but it was still part of my decision.

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, dogs and people just clash. And for me, if I really, truly didn't feel much of anything toward a dog and just lived life frustrated and trying to hide my frustration from the dog, rehoming is the best solution.

I'm not the type of person who believes that absolutely every dog you bring home in a lifetime needs to stay forever. That's a lot of dogs someone could potentially have in a lifetime, and I think it's hard to imagine that every one of those dogs will fit. Most of them probably will, but there might be one or two that doesn't. My goal and my plan when I get a dog is to keep it forever, but sometimes things just don't work for a plethora of reasons. I bring a dog home with the intention to love it and care for it and provide everything it needs and made **** sure that dog has the best life I can possibly provide... if I feel that something is missing and that neither the dog nor I am living the best life we can with eachother, then rehoming might be a better option. It's very situation dependent. Obviously rehoming isn't something anybody really wants to do and it is very hard. And my Spring experience really showed me that I am not the type of person to take a dog on a whim without knowing a lot about it and that finding a good dog (and breeder) match for me is very important. I'm really not that picky when it comes to dogs and I can live with a lot of different personality types, but as she showed me, there are apparently some I don't do well with.

I don't bring every dog into my life and expect to feel about it as I do Journey or Dance. I'm ok with that and it would be weird to have dog after dog be as awesome for me as those two are. But if I'm really truly not happy with a dog and I know somebody else will be, then I feel like I'm doing both that dog and I a favour.


It's not always black and white. It isn't as simple as "oh, I don't get along the best with this dog so I'm going to get rid of it". Not even close.


Or, I could have just finished reading Fran's post, because as usual, she basically already said what I was thinking and wanted to say.
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  #30  
Old 05-15-2013, 10:09 PM
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*Did not read thread*

I don't have a bond with Lucy. At all. When I go "dog places," it used to just be me and Juno - these days it's me, Juno, & Happy. But very rarely do I even think to include Lucy on these outings. I say extra long Hellos to Juno & Happy when I come home from work, but Lucy just gets a couple quick pats.

Granted, the feeling is somewhat mutual, Lucy is attached to my mom so it's not like she actually cares that I don't fawn over her. It's not like I live by myself and I'm the only person Lucy has.

That being said, if I WERE Lucy's sole owner - if my mom or no one else were in the picture - to me it is not a big deal. Obviously I would treat her more equally in that situation. It doesn't bug me that Lucy is not my soul mate. I feel like I can honestly say I would never ever ever rehome a dog just because we didn't "bond." There'd have to be some very extenuating circumstances for me to do that.

I don't really think I can say I have a bond with Happy either, really, and going into the situation I didn't expect that I would. To me that's fine. She's a sweet dog and I like her. I'm happy enough with that.
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