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  #5561  
Old 05-10-2013, 01:25 AM
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DogKisses DogKisses is offline
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Crappy night.

I really wish I could make a few things disappear from the world.
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  #5562  
Old 05-10-2013, 10:36 AM
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Beanie Beanie is offline
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I don't really want to complain about my job because I generally speaking enjoy it. And I don't want to be one of those people who bitches and moans about their job no matter what.

But one of my bosses has MAJOR problems communicating. This often results in me being, well... insulted. Implications that I'm stupid and inept abound. The only upside is that my co-worker says he gets the same thing and it's not me, he thinks it's just a flaw in the communications process. The other co-worker seems to be the only one who is thought of with any reverence and respect. So now whenever he challenges me on something I tell him "So-and-so told me that." I have to NAME DROP my other co-worker to get any credibility...

I'm finding it very hard to just go "well he's a poor communicator" rather than feel insulted when he implies I'm stupid though. So this just leaves me feeling insulted and upset... a lot.

A few weeks ago he asked my opinion on something, I told him my opinion, and he spent the next fifteen minutes basically telling me why I was wrong for thinking that. Even though it was something the OTHER boss and I had discussed at length previously and we both agreed it was important...
I decided I was no longer going to give my opinion after that. He doesn't WANT my opinion. So now I just want him to tell me what he wants and I'll do it. If you want me to design a purple flying hippopotamus with green stripes just tell me and I will do it. Don't ask what I think, just tell me. Done. Problem solved.


I don't really know what to do. I'm sad because there are so many aspects of this job I love but this in particular is starting to overwhelm me. I'm also scared because sales are tanking. I thought I was getting OUT of a scary, unstable situation when I left radio. But every day I actually see the sales numbers here, I hear the profit numbers for each week, and it's not really logical but the voice in the back of my head is starting to panic.

I can't just bail, I will look like a job hopper. It was hard enough to find a design job in the first place, I don't know how I'm going to get another one anyway. If I can just scrape through the summer... November was when I started... a year here then maybe it won't look terrible on my resume anymore?


ETA: Wow, he just sent me a REALLY insulting e-mail, and I'm trying not to cry and failing. wow. just wow.
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Last edited by Beanie; 05-10-2013 at 10:56 AM.
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  #5563  
Old 05-10-2013, 11:15 AM
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meepitsmeagan meepitsmeagan is offline
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Making major life choices is difficult when DH is adjusting to third shift.

Also, just talked to ACD breeder and decided to push future puppy back a few years. She's got a youngin' right now that I'm completely in love with, and if she turns out to be breeding stock, I want a dog out of her. Plus, a few years out will just be better timing anyways. I should be done with school, and we should have a small herd of our own cattle by then. I is sad, but it's for the best.
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  #5564  
Old 05-10-2013, 11:35 AM
stardogs stardogs is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beanie View Post
But one of my bosses has MAJOR problems communicating. This often results in me being, well... insulted. Implications that I'm stupid and inept abound.
Do you have anyone who does HR at your job? If so, I'd be talking to them since it sounds like you're not comfortable talking directly with your boss - if he's doing this with everyone it's not just you and since you can't do your job with the way he behaves, you need to see if someone else can step in.
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  #5565  
Old 05-10-2013, 11:58 AM
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I need to take Joey and Cricket to the dog park for a bit today to meet up with one of my friends, but I feel like this...
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  #5566  
Old 05-10-2013, 12:07 PM
crazedACD crazedACD is offline
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!#@$#$!@ piece of crap Fluval brand tanks. What the effing hell.

SECOND...SECOND 65 gallon I've had set up blew out at work this morning. Thankfully I seem to miss these events. $1000 piece of junk. And it's a particle board stand, so that is next to useless now. Someone was going to try sealing it...no, I don't think so. I'm not setting up any of their brand tanks ever again.

Also, I can't figure out which dogs I want to bring to the park. If there is no one there and we get to swim, I would bring Skye and Romeo. No guarantees the park isn't crowded though. I think I want to do some ob work with Skye though. And two dogs and camera doesn't work. I want to take some pictures today. But I feel bad leaving Romeo on a great day to swim. And then Zoie is here too and she could use some out and about time. I have finals tomorrow that my whole life depends on and I really shouldn't go out there twice today..decisions decisions. Almost definitely my mom will make me feel bad about leaving someone behind. Sigh.
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  #5567  
Old 05-10-2013, 12:52 PM
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Beanie Beanie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stardogs View Post
Do you have anyone who does HR at your job? If so, I'd be talking to them since it sounds like you're not comfortable talking directly with your boss - if he's doing this with everyone it's not just you and since you can't do your job with the way he behaves, you need to see if someone else can step in.
No, unfortunately not. It's a small business so... we don't have any kind of HR department. =/ There are two owners, neither of which lives locally, me, and my two co-workers and that's it.

One of my co-workers is off today for his birthday but I told my other co-worker what happened (after I was no longer crying about it) and he told me he was sorry, and if he could do anything about it, he would. But he is the same one who also gets a lot of stuff said to him. He said "It's like he doesn't use a filter... he never stops to think 'This might be insulting to somebody.'" He told me again he just has problems communicating. I told him I just wanted to try and stick up for myself after the thinly veiled insult and in response I got something even more insulting. Which the dumb thing is... he had asked me a few weeks ago to try and do something to the website. He said "try and figure it out but if you can't figure it out, our developer said he can do it for a few hundred bucks so it might not be worth your time." I messed around with it, I had a solution but wasn't really happy with it, so I e-mailed him back saying "yeah I think if the developer can just change it quickly it's probably worth it so I can move on to other things."
And he's using THAT instance as an example of how I can't work in the system we are using. What?? He flat out told me it might not be worth my time... I could have found a solution if I HAD to but... I don't understand. I feel like I was set up for him to throw it in my face later.

I know I could theoretically raise the issue with the other boss, but a) he has been sort of run out of day-to-day operations and b) they are actually in-laws... so I don't think it would really do anything.
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  #5568  
Old 05-10-2013, 01:30 PM
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meepitsmeagan meepitsmeagan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beanie View Post
No, unfortunately not. It's a small business so... we don't have any kind of HR department. =/ There are two owners, neither of which lives locally, me, and my two co-workers and that's it.

One of my co-workers is off today for his birthday but I told my other co-worker what happened (after I was no longer crying about it) and he told me he was sorry, and if he could do anything about it, he would. But he is the same one who also gets a lot of stuff said to him. He said "It's like he doesn't use a filter... he never stops to think 'This might be insulting to somebody.'" He told me again he just has problems communicating. I told him I just wanted to try and stick up for myself after the thinly veiled insult and in response I got something even more insulting. Which the dumb thing is... he had asked me a few weeks ago to try and do something to the website. He said "try and figure it out but if you can't figure it out, our developer said he can do it for a few hundred bucks so it might not be worth your time." I messed around with it, I had a solution but wasn't really happy with it, so I e-mailed him back saying "yeah I think if the developer can just change it quickly it's probably worth it so I can move on to other things."
And he's using THAT instance as an example of how I can't work in the system we are using. What?? He flat out told me it might not be worth my time... I could have found a solution if I HAD to but... I don't understand. I feel like I was set up for him to throw it in my face later.

I know I could theoretically raise the issue with the other boss, but a) he has been sort of run out of day-to-day operations and b) they are actually in-laws... so I don't think it would really do anything.
It's sometimes hard to deal with family owned businesses.. It seems like they quite often don't have the skills to deal with employees well. I dealt a lot with this kind of stuff at my job with the KOA. It was very frustrating. I almost prefer working for a corporation because at least there is always someone else to go to that can properly deal with the issue.

I'm sorry that you are going through this. I will send vibes that it gets better.
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  #5569  
Old 05-10-2013, 03:18 PM
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I have read that narcissistic personality is somewhat commonly found in people of authority like corporate executives & even down to managers ... Not all bosses are that way but it is fairly common personality type because its theorized to get to the "top" caters to personalities with narcissistic tendencies
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  #5570  
Old 05-10-2013, 03:27 PM
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Mike isn't a member to vent, so I'll do it for him:

His mom suffers from depression....and she can't bring herself to leave the house to come to his college graduation ceremony.

He's upset, and I feel horrible for him.
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