Dog Site - Dog Stuff
Dog Forum | Dog Pictures

Go Back   Chazhound Dog Forum > Dog Forum News > The Fire Hydrant


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #21  
Old 03-14-2013, 05:20 PM
milos_mommy's Avatar
milos_mommy milos_mommy is offline
Top Dog
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 14,561
Default

On a side note, talking about bratty ungrateful children, - this girl I know who is 22 and lives with her fiancee's parent's, and is also pregnant, and who can't even pay for her car loan (she doesn't work AT ALL, and her fiancee's job basically covers the cost of his gas to and from work), is now complaining about her mother-in-law because MIL said she would have dinner ready by 5, and it's now 5:22 and dinner still isn't ready
__________________
"My favorite color is green, green like newly cut grass. When it comes to green with envy, though, you can stick it up your @ss!" ~ Grammy



http://www.adorablebeasts.blogspot.com
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 03-14-2013, 05:21 PM
sillysally's Avatar
sillysally sillysally is offline
Obey the Toad.
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: A hole in the bottom of the sea.
Posts: 4,991
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by milos_mommy View Post
Cali, not all parents or families look at it as a "burden" or parental responsibility or obligation to allow their adult children to live with them. Some parents LOVE having their adult children living with them, and would prefer to keep it that way as long as possible. It's not at all uncommon for extended families to co-habitate, by choice, and not out of need or obligation.

Of course, living with other adult family members is going to come with some disagreements and disapproval of each other's decisions. At that point, the families who OWN the home and pay for the home need to weigh the pros and cons of living with others who are not paying rent, or paying a reduced rent.

Unless it's stipulated that the money the children save from their reduced rent go to a very specific purpose each month (savings for down payment on a house, medical bills, etc.), it's none of the parent's business what they do with it. No more than handing someone a 50$ bill on their birthday and then complaining when they spend it on dinner and a movie instead of groceries or a utility bill.
This.

This is why contracts, even between family members are a good idea. If something is such a big deal, put it in the contract.
__________________

~Christina--Mom to:
Sally--8 yr old pit bull mix
Jack--6 yr old Labrador
Sadie & Runt--12 yr old calico DSHs
Pickles & Kiwi--3 yr old white winged parakeets
Yoda--1 yr old Quaker parrot
Solo--12 yr old Senegal parrot
Sheena--Quarter Horse--3/24/86-6/23/11--Rest Easy Sweet Girl~




Labs do it in the lake.


Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 03-14-2013, 05:41 PM
LauraLeigh's Avatar
LauraLeigh LauraLeigh is offline
Irritate with Caution!!
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Brighton Ontario
Posts: 3,659
Default

Well, seeings how my daughter and her family live in my basement... LOL

Though ours is more like a true duplex, they have three bedrooms and completely separate living space save a shared laundry room...

I look at it like this, they pay a bit less than Market value but... They do pay decent rent down there, and they would buy a home if one was available in the area, they want to be in this area and have Kolby close to us, as well as use the farm...

So any money they save or get as a refund is theirs... We enjoy the fact that they're able to do things they may not be able to afford with the full overhead of a home and all it involves (such as Jenn staying at home full time)

I may feel differently if they ate our food all the time, or cost us money from our pockets to live there but that's not the case... We DO often eat all together but it's usually a trade off one night I'll cook up here for everyone then they'll do the same..
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 03-14-2013, 05:44 PM
sparks19's Avatar
sparks19 sparks19 is offline
I'd rather be at Disney
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Lancaster, PA
Posts: 28,290
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by sillysally View Post
This.

This is why contracts, even between family members are a good idea. If something is such a big deal, put it in the contract.
But really, what parent thinks they need a contract with ther CHILD. How many parents co aign for something and require a contract. Most parents like to think they raised their child to be grateful and respectful and wouldn't take advantage
__________________
Quote:

“Meaninglessness does not come from being weary of pain. Meaninglessness comes from being weary of pleasure.”


G.K. Chesterton
“Family fun is as necessary to modern living as a kitchen refrigerator.” – Walt Disney






Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 03-14-2013, 05:52 PM
milos_mommy's Avatar
milos_mommy milos_mommy is offline
Top Dog
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 14,561
Default

Lots of parents sign contracts with their children. Not because that they predict their children will be ungrateful or take advantage of them, but because it makes the arrangement more like that of a renter and homeowner, and not that of a parent/child - which, if you're seriously concerned about your child's ability to save money and eventually move out, and not housing your child because you want them there, is the kind of arrangement it should be.

A contract doesn't have to mean "I'm covering my bases because I don't trust you not to screw me over and take advantage of me". It can simply be an easy way to communicate very clearly what the expectations of both parties are.
__________________
"My favorite color is green, green like newly cut grass. When it comes to green with envy, though, you can stick it up your @ss!" ~ Grammy



http://www.adorablebeasts.blogspot.com
Reply With Quote
  #26  
Old 03-14-2013, 05:58 PM
CaliTerp07's Avatar
CaliTerp07 CaliTerp07 is offline
Top Dog
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Alexandria, VA
Posts: 7,637
Default

Milo, do you know people who have contracts with their parents? What is the penalty if they break the contract?

I ask because my brother-in-law lived at home for years, because he just wasn't mature enough to handle being on his own. My mother in law loved it, but eventually began to get frustrated with his continual poor choices (speeding tickets, partying with friends, new clothes, etc). What were the options though? They couldn't kick him out--he was unable to afford living on his own.
Reply With Quote
  #27  
Old 03-14-2013, 06:17 PM
Kat09Tails's Avatar
Kat09Tails Kat09Tails is offline
*Now with Snark*
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Upper Left hand corner, USA
Posts: 3,336
Default

I think people need to decide what's important. They should have had the discussion of where the money goes a LONG...long time ago.

There is no such thing as free or reduced rent. You're going to pay for it someway and clearly Mom and Dad in this situation feel like the adult kids are spending their money unwisely. As this is not a normal rent situation consider it month to month on their terms.

If money is tight, Mom and Dad are just scraping by and their kid decides to take his family on a vacation I can see a WTF moment happening. They are after all subsidizing their kid, probably working hard,and probably not in the position to take a vacation themselves.

Which is why I have the best solution... Kid should send parents on a vacation. Have a "parents are out of town staycation" while they're gone instead.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #28  
Old 03-14-2013, 06:18 PM
milos_mommy's Avatar
milos_mommy milos_mommy is offline
Top Dog
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 14,561
Default

I do know people who have had contracts with their parents, quite a few of them.

I only know one woman who took legal action against her son. The contract was basically stating that he could live with her, either rent free or for low-rent (I'm not sure which) IF he remained drug-free and attended some kind of therapy. He did not, and then refused to leave. She did take him to court over it (I believe it was housing court), but I don't know what the outcome was, I lost touch with her before it ended.

Otherwise, no one I ever know has ever been taken to court by their parents over a contract, I'm not sure if that's because they always followed the stipulations in the contract, or if the contract stated things like "you must move out if X occurs", "you owe us the rent you're not paying if X happens", etc. I think most of the time once a contract is laid out between parents and children, both parties know what is expected of them and do that. Like I said, the contract isn't because anyone predicts the kids being bratty and ungrateful and taking advantage, it's simply a way to write out what obligations they have and expectations of both parties.

I think in a lot of cases it's not really an actual legal contract, a lease or anything, just a written up list of "rules" or expectations that both parties go over and sign.
__________________
"My favorite color is green, green like newly cut grass. When it comes to green with envy, though, you can stick it up your @ss!" ~ Grammy



http://www.adorablebeasts.blogspot.com
Reply With Quote
  #29  
Old 03-14-2013, 06:20 PM
release the hounds release the hounds is online now
Top Dog
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,025
Default

even if there is no contract, it's considered a month to month you can have any adult removed providing you follow the right steps
Reply With Quote
  #30  
Old 03-14-2013, 06:37 PM
ruffiangirl ruffiangirl is offline
Top Dog
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Fort McMurray, AB, CA
Posts: 1,681
Default

I side with the parents, who, in this situation, hold all the cards, IMO. Ultimately it's their house and, of they are doing a favor by allowing cheap rent so the kids can save up a down payment it is very disrespectful for them to essentially "waste" the money on a very expensive vacation. A cheap getaway I could understand, putting the bulk of the money aside. If it were me I wouldn't be looking a gift horse in the mouth and I would be darn well listening to the parents.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:49 PM.


©1997-2013 Chazhound Dog Site