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  #21  
Old 02-28-2013, 09:53 PM
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sparks19 sparks19 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eddieq View Post
I would give up anyone and everyone for my wife. She is my greatest love and my best friend. If she asked me to not see my childhood friends tonight, I'd cut them off tomorrow.

Here is the kicker, though...

I also know that my wife would NEVER ask me to do that. She knows that I'm still friends (both RL and FB) with former girlfriends. She is also still friends with former boyfriends. We know each other and trust each other.

I wouldn't ask her, either.
Yes... Exactly this!!!!!
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  #22  
Old 02-28-2013, 10:11 PM
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Well I pretty much have the least jealous husband on the face of the planet, so I know he wouldn't ask me. But generally, no, I wouldn't. I find trying to restrict/ control/ dictate with whom one's partner spends time to be a big red flag, even if it is phrased as a polite question. Whether it is same gender friends, opposite gender friends, family, whoever. I feel like... if you're feeling insecure, let's talk about why that is and fix it rather than put a band-aid on those feelings by asking me to cut friends out of my life.

Having said that, if my husband felt I wasn't safe with someone because he thought the guy was shifty or something... I would seriously listen to his opinion. The fact that he would even ever bring it up about someone would speak volumes.
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  #23  
Old 03-01-2013, 03:34 AM
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No. But then again there is no way I would have married a man who didn't trust me. I find jealousy a petty and pathetic emotion and if you feel it, your marriage is in BIG trouble.
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  #24  
Old 03-01-2013, 05:41 AM
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Never! I would dump his controlling ass so fast his head would spin >:c
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  #25  
Old 03-01-2013, 07:09 AM
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Id never be asked to. considering his friends are my friends, some I knew before I even met him. Almost all my girlfriends are dating/married to one of his friends. So it would be strange.

He did ask me one time when we first started dating not to have a old boyfriend over. Said old boyfriend was passing though our area and needed a place to crash. I said sure he could, before I was with my fiancee. After I started dating Ryan. I agreed not to let said old boyfriend stay over. Which in all honesty prob would have been bad. I was so in love with old boyfriend at the time (only broke up due to distance issues). And ryan and I just started dating 3 or so weeks in. Glad I did listen to ryan then lol


But otherwise. No he wouldnt ask me to do anything or demand anything of me. Must be the reason I have been with him all these years lol
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  #26  
Old 03-01-2013, 08:19 AM
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Mine tries to get "uppity" about things sometimes, including sometimes having issues with my opposite sex friends. One in particular because he is "dog", a bit on the lecherous side but respects me & my relationship & is never inappropriate with me (though he is with other girls sometimes which is why OH doesn't like him) but if he was inappropriate with me he wouldn't be my friend
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  #27  
Old 03-01-2013, 08:45 AM
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I don't think my husband would ever ask me to stop hanging out with a friend of the opposite sex. But, on the same note I make it a point not to hang out with my friends of the opposite sex alone. It's not that anything would ever happen, but I wouldn't want to open the door for there to be any room for doubt or suspicion.

Instead, if I want to hang out with one of my guy friends I usually make it a group thing which ends up still being a lot of fun.

I think there was only one guy that rubbed Josh the wrong way a little. This guy named Aaron out in NM. He was my best friend throughout high school and we did have feelings for each other and I will always love Aaron... Just not the same way I love Josh if that makes sense. Josh knew my history with Aaron and while I know it made him a little uncomfortable when Aaron was around he still never asked me to stop talking or hanging out with him and I did decide on my own not to hang out with Aaron alone anymore. The only exception was when I went out to lunch with Aaron to tell him I was getting married. I really needed to do that alone though.

Josh doesn't really have many girl friends and the girls that he is friends with for the most part I am friends with. He doesn't hang out with any of them alone either to my knowledge, but we do tend to do group get togethers with them sometimes.
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  #28  
Old 03-01-2013, 09:09 AM
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If a boyfriend was ever flat out like "I don't want you hanging out with other guys or talking to other guys"?? Uhhh, I hope he has fun sorting out his insecurities in therapy for controlling douchebags, because I will be far, far, far away.


But on the same hand, I'd expect myself to be respectful of a guy's (perhaps not reasonable, but NORMAL) insecurities, and ACT like I'm in a relationship. I've never cheated on anyone, and never say never but I really don't see that happening anytime unless my life/morals/etc. drastically, drastically changes. But I have, in past relationships, probably acted far less than appropriately for someone who is committed.

Probably more than half of my friends, and most of my close friends, are and always have been of the opposite sex.

We go on vacation together.
We sleep over each other's houses.
Sometimes we even sleep in the same bed.
We do things like wrestle, put our arms around each other, sit squished together in big chairs, share food/drinks, talk about our sex lives, etc.

I always did all of these things in my only long-term relationships. At that point, all of my friends were our friends, and he trusted them, and me, and it was never a problem.

Then we did long-distance. And I moved. And my friends changed. And my behavior did not. And that was a BIG problem.

It's not really fair for most people to ask an SO to be okay with them spending a lot of alone time with someone of the opposite sex, for them to be physically affectionate or flirtatious with the opposite sex, hanging out drinking with someone of the opposite sex, or opening up to a friend of the opposite sex when you won't do that with your partner. Even if you've never cheated or done anything really inappropriate, even if you've been friends with that person for years, single or not, and nothing ever happened between you, and even if you're not uncomfortable with the other person acting the same way.

If you have a friend of the opposite sex who you talk on the phone with every night, or who you ditch your SO for, or frequently spend one-on-one time with in a private place, even if you're not remotely attracted to them and nothing has ever happened, it seems reasonable for your OH to want that to change. For a lot of people, it's uncomfortable, even if they trust you and the other person.
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  #29  
Old 03-01-2013, 09:32 AM
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I'd sit down and talk with him and see what the reason was. If he thought the guy was dangerous and it wasn't safe, I'd respect his judgement, and only hang out with him in a group. If he was just jealous or insecure because I had opposite sex friends, we'd need to have a looong conversation.
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  #30  
Old 03-01-2013, 11:26 AM
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SO isnt really the jealous type thank god. I think there's a difference between hi. Asking me not to hang out with an old friend or with a new guy friend though. I'd be mad if he wanted me to stop hanging out with an old friend just because he is of different sex than i . If its a new friend and it made him feel uncomfortable, oh yeah we would talk about it.
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