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  #11  
Old 02-28-2013, 09:55 PM
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yoko yoko is offline
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NEVER.

My best friends have been with me through so much they've been my rocks throughout my life.

They've seen me at my lowest. They were shoulders to cry on. They were meals when I couldn't afford them. They were rides to work when I didn't have a car even though I lived over an hour out of their way. We talked about everything from stupid stuff to stuff we wanted out of life.

If my BF ever told me that he didn't like me being around my friends who happen to be guys I would have to take a step back and really reevaluate how far I wanted to go in that relationship and honestly I'd probably cut it off really soon after that if not that day.
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  #12  
Old 02-28-2013, 09:56 PM
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Red.Apricot Red.Apricot is offline
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No.

I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't believe people are people and can be friends with whomever they choose. We just wouldn't be compatible.
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  #13  
Old 02-28-2013, 09:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sillysally View Post
Yeah, i don't get phone snooping. I don't care if DH looks at my phone and I'm free to look at his if I want, but neither of us do it for the purpose of spying on the other.
This

There is no snooping in our house. Everythig
Is an open book.

Usually it is more like "oh my gosh lol look at this text so and so just sent me". Lol. I make it abundantly clear that just about anything you tell me will be shared with my spouse in casual
Conversation. He is trustworthy and won't share my secrets with anyone else but for the most part there are NO secrets between us. If you ever tell him something and tell him not to tell anyone he will warn you up front that he will almost certainly tell me but Also that I will absolutely not tell anyone else.

We don't snoop. We are extremely open with each other
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  #14  
Old 02-28-2013, 09:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sillysally View Post
Yeah, i don't get phone snooping. I don't care if DH looks at my phone and I'm free to look at his if I want, but neither of us do it for the purpose of spying on the other.
Same here. We'll occasionally go on each other's phone..if, say, he needs me to get someone's phone number and he doesn't want to go get his phone. But we would never be all sneaky-like and peruse the other person's contacts, texts, etc. Neither of us has anything to hide, but that's just disrespectful.
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  #15  
Old 02-28-2013, 09:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dogdragoness View Post
I have a very good OH But sometimes, he kind of is wishy-washy about my opposite sex friends, ESP one I am close with & have known for a long time.

Some time she tells me that it is ok & that he trusts me & then he will turn around & chastise me for having male friends while HE has & talks to women all the time. Some of them are my friends also.

So ... What do you guys think? Would you give up your friends if your OH "told" you to?
My husband would never "tell" me to stop spending time with male friends. At the same time, once we got married it just felt incredibly inappropriate to me to be alone with guys. I avoid situations like that as much as possible.

I was always someone who got along so much better with guys. I played sports, majored in computer science, and most of my coworkers were male. It made sense that I had more guy friends than girls. Once I got married though, I drew a big line in the sand. I absolutely still spend time with my guy friends, but always in group situations or double dates or something. It just feels wrong to me to be in a one on one situation with a guy other than my husband.

When Zach or I don't like the way something in our relationship is going (whether it's me staying at work too late during the week, or him watching too much tv, or the company either of us is keeping) we discuss it, explain why it makes us uncomfortable, and come to a compromise. I have never told him "stop watching football" or "don't go to lunch with Ali", but I will say things like, "It makes me feel less valued when you'd rather watch sports than spend time with me on Sundays." Usually things shake themselves out.
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  #16  
Old 02-28-2013, 10:06 PM
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sillysally sillysally is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sparks19 View Post
This

There is no snooping in our house. Everythig
Is an open book.

Usually it is more like "oh my gosh lol look at this text so and so just sent me". Lol. I make it abundantly clear that just about anything you tell me will be shared with my spouse in casual
Conversation. He is trustworthy and won't share my secrets with anyone else but for the most part there are NO secrets between us. If you ever tell him something and tell him not to tell anyone he will warn you up front that he will almost certainly tell me but Also that I will absolutely not tell anyone else.

We don't snoop. We are extremely open with each other
That's mostly how we are, I find it much more freeing that way--it seems like a lot of work to keep stuff from your spouse--lol.
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  #17  
Old 02-28-2013, 10:08 PM
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sparks19 sparks19 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaliTerp07 View Post
My husband would never "tell" me to stop spending time with male friends. At the same time, once we got married it just felt incredibly inappropriate to me to be alone with guys. I avoid situations like that as much as possible.

I was always someone who got along so much better with guys. I played sports, majored in computer science, and most of my coworkers were male. It made sense that I had more guy friends than girls. Once I got married though, I drew a big line in the sand. I absolutely still spend time with my guy friends, but always in group situations or double dates or something. It just feels wrong to me to be in a one on one situation with a guy other than my husband.

When Zach or I don't like the way something in our relationship is going (whether it's me staying at work too late during the week, or him watching too much tv, or the company either of us is keeping) we discuss it, explain why it makes us uncomfortable, and come to a compromise. I have never told him "stop watching football" or "don't go to lunch with Ali", but I will say things like, "It makes me feel less valued when you'd rather watch sports than spend time with me on Sundays." Usually things shake themselves out.
Yes.... This.
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  #18  
Old 02-28-2013, 10:31 PM
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Julee Julee is offline
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Wouldn't happen in my relationship.
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  #19  
Old 02-28-2013, 10:32 PM
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I would give up anyone and everyone for my wife. She is my greatest love and my best friend. If she asked me to not see my childhood friends tonight, I'd cut them off tomorrow.

Here is the kicker, though...

I also know that my wife would NEVER ask me to do that. She knows that I'm still friends (both RL and FB) with former girlfriends. She is also still friends with former boyfriends. We know each other and trust each other.

I wouldn't ask her, either.
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  #20  
Old 02-28-2013, 10:45 PM
ruffiangirl ruffiangirl is offline
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No, but like others said, my husband has never asked me to stop being friends with my male friends. In fact when my dad was sick and subsequently passed away I relied heavily on one of them, more so then on DH, because this friend has been through the loss of close family members (siblings) and hubby has only lost one grandparent and just didn't know how to support me. He understood that, and he knew when I was talking to said friend, and when I went to see said friend, open book, like mentioned.
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