Surnames

[Lyzelle]

Originally Posted by milos_mommy

Yeah, my only real concern is international travel. I guess bringing along a copy of the birth certificate would solve that.

You have to provide legal proof the kid is yours anyway, with written consent of the father unless deceased. Separated, divorced, deceased...all parents have to provide that info on the passport application. So that doesn't/shouldn't(people are always stupid) change anything.

[CatStina]

My brother and I have my dad's last name and my mom has my stepdad's last name. We haven't really run into many issues with it. Though she did keep my dad's last name until I was in middle school (about 4 years after the divorce).

ETA: We travelled to Finland and to the Bahamas with different last names.

[Emily]

No thoughts on kids but I've already decided not to change my last name if I get married. No ill feelings towards those who do, there's just no point to me. I like my name and I'm gonna keep it (even if it is long and German). Not worried about the theoretical SO's feelings on it because if he has a problem with that we're not gonna last anyway.

For kids... I dunno, I might be a hippy and hyphenate, LOL, but my last name is long and if the kid's dad had a long name too, it just gets kind of awkward.

[MandyPug]

Originally Posted by Emily

No thoughts on kids but I've already decided not to change my last name if I get married. No ill feelings towards those who do, there's just no point to me. I like my name and I'm gonna keep it (even if it is long and German). Not worried about the theoretical SO's feelings on it because if he has a problem with that we're not gonna last anyway.

I'm keeping mine because its simply a pretty cool last name. I have zero contact with my dad anymore but I do like my last name.

[TheAllredBunch]

My parents divorced basically when I was in the womb and I was given my fathers last name. When he remarried and moved to SC it was really difficult because we had to bring my birth certificate almost everywhere to prove that my mom WAS my mom since she had a different last name. I would advise having the child have your last name and if you get married you can legally change both names. I wish my mom had given me her last name it made things very hard growing up.

Also I have a hyphenated first name and it was such a pain my entire life i went ahead and made it one word when I got married and had to change my name.

[Linds]

I have a hyphenated last name and I honestly love it. I like having that piece of my mom and my dad and if I get married I would add on I think.

When I was little it was a pain writing it all out. I was bribed with getting Lion King on VHS when it came out if I would write my full name on all my papers in Kindergarten.

My mom hyphenated her last name because she was an only child and the last person with her last name in the family so she didn't want to loose that. My dad though just kept his last name and didn't hyphenate it because it was way to much paperwork for the guy to change his name.

But yeah, I like having my two last names. Just makes it unique and I have two last names to pick from if I don't want to use my "real" name.

[milos_mommy]

Originally Posted by TheAllredBunch

I would advise having the child have your last name and if you get married you can legally change both names.

You can't just legally change your child's last name to a step-parent's, unless the father gives up his legal rights. So my choice if I got married would be to either change my name to a different one from my child's, or keep my maiden name (which I don't like and wouldn't prefer to do).

[Taqroy]

Originally Posted by Emily

No thoughts on kids but I've already decided not to change my last name if I get married. No ill feelings towards those who do, there's just no point to me. I like my name and I'm gonna keep it (even if it is long and German). Not worried about the theoretical SO's feelings on it because if he has a problem with that we're not gonna last anyway.

For kids... I dunno, I might be a hippy and hyphenate, LOL, but my last name is long and if the kid's dad had a long name too, it just gets kind of awkward.

Honestly, if I had a do over I wouldn't change my last name. I had no idea how alien it would be going from the name I'd had for 22 years to a name that wasn't even mine. It felt like a loss of identity and I think it really contributed to the problems we had early on. If my maiden name wouldn't look incredibly stupid being hyphenated I would have done that. (My maiden name is New. It doesn't matter what the last name is, it would look stupid. Lol.)

I dunno what I would do if me and Matt weren't married...I suppose it would depend on how committed we were/are (ie one night stand, couple month relationship, long term relationship).

[ruffiangirl]

I have my son his fathers last name...biggest mistake ever! I wish I had just given him mine. IF we had gotten married and I changed mine to his, changing our sons would have been no big deal. We didn't, I left him 2 years later. Now my son lives with me and my husband and we all have different last names, because I haven't changed mine...yet. At school and to his friends he uses my last name, but legally it's still his dads. In response to the above post, we were together for 2 years before I got pregnant, still big mistake lol.

For travel it doesn't matter, I have to get permission from his father to take him out if the province and a written letter to take him out if the country. They have never questioned his last name because its the same as his dads on the letter.

[Michiyo-Fir]

Both my cousins have both last names because my aunt wanted them to keep the Asian last name in there. My aunt is Asian, my uncle is Caucasian. But somehow they never actually use both because it's too troublesome. Only when filling out forms they use their full names otherwise, they only use my uncle's last name.