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Old 01-01-2013, 06:59 PM
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yoko yoko is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 5,347

I don't know if you are the one who had the other thread removed or if one of the mods did. I know you can't see it any more but now's about the time you should really take into consideration a lot of the advice you were given there.

I don't think anyone but you are really shocked about this. I'm not going to type out a lot of advice because going off of your post you're insanely emotional right now and I doubt you'll listen to anything near reason. The only thing I'll say now is you need to suck it up and start working on yourself. He doesn't care about and he hasn't for quite a while. You say you are worth more than that but the only person holding you back from that has been yourself.

Also you need to let go of the hate and anger you have for that other woman. You've been blindly supporting him for how long? He's a manipulator and she's being lied to just like you have been. If you want to be pissed off be pissed off at yourself for lying to yourself about him and use that to help pull yourself up.

I wish your baby the best and hope this truly is rock bottom for you so you can work on pulling yourself up.
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Old 01-01-2013, 07:00 PM
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Laurelin Laurelin is offline
I'm All Ears
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 30,963

Originally Posted by Renee750il View Post
Sadly, you may be the only one who's surprised by this.

You've got two choices: wallow or walk away.

Not easy, but it helps to look at things from a perspective of respect. Respect for yourself and . . . can you really have any respect for Josh anymore? Can you really love someone you don't respect?

Pity and a past don't make for a good relationship.
This, exactly.

I'm very sorry you're going through all this. I hope you can get moved to your parents place soon and you can begin moving forward. You definitely DO deserve better.

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Old 01-01-2013, 07:06 PM
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sassafras sassafras is offline
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 6,393

It's horrible to realize that someone who you loved and trusted treated you this way. I hope you can come to see him and his behavior for what it is and stop excusing him (just like his mommy apparently does) and blaming this other girl (who has probably been lied to as well). You might not ever stop loving him, and that sucks and it hurts but it's not a reason not to leave him behind. I can't think of a single reason why you would want this man in your life anymore.

Old 01-01-2013, 07:12 PM
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Baxter'smybaby Baxter'smybaby is offline
swimming upstream
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: NY
Posts: 21,981

It's a New Year-sounds like it was a gift to get him out of your life for the new year.
You are carrying a child--who will depend on you to care for him/her. THAT should be your priority--let go of the fantasy of how wonderful Josh is--he isn't.
Time to grow up, take care of yourself and your child.
Old 01-01-2013, 07:29 PM
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Sparrow Sparrow is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Alaska
Posts: 234

Him not being with you isn't him not doing what's best for your baby. A person like him does NOT make a good father. Babies are better off with one amazing and strong mother and no father than they are with two parents who shouldn't be together. Spend the time until your baby is born making yourself the best you ever!

I've been through bad breakups. I really think your best bet is to not talk to him AT ALL for quite some time. Maybe until it's almost time for the baby to be born. It will be so much harder if you keep in contact. It feels right at the time, but please try to gain some distance emotionally.
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Old 01-01-2013, 08:06 PM
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Samantha's pet Samantha's pet is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Benton Arkansas
Posts: 2,609

I am very sorry for your pain but seriously, seriously not surprised. Did I not tell you people don't "turn bad" overnight? He IS a crappy person with no integrity. He hid that from you for a few years and now the charade is up. See this as you FINALLY seeing his true self and not a sudden change from a good person to a bad person. That doesn't happen. People are who they are and change is an extremely hard, long process.

Don't make it easy for him to be in the baby's life. Make him work for it. Then you will know if he truly cares and is worthy. I do not mean for you to keep his child from him but make him make a consistent effort and pay child support before you allow him to be a regular fixture in the child's life. A fickle father is worse for a child than no father. They start to feel bad about themselves when daddy suddenly doesn't feel like seeing them anymore. If he is gonna do that better to just sever ties with him now.

Old 01-01-2013, 08:34 PM
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eddieq eddieq is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: PA
Posts: 8,807

Glad he's out of your life. Make sure he takes financial responsibility for this child he has fathered in you, though.
When things don't go your way, stop and think, "Problem, or inconvenience?" - with apologies to Robert Fulghum
Old 01-01-2013, 09:35 PM
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AdrianneIsabel AdrianneIsabel is offline
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Location: Portland, Oregon
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Originally Posted by eddieq View Post
Glad he's out of your life. Make sure he takes financial responsibility for this child he has fathered in you, though.
Good post. Get him gone but hold his pathetic ass accountable as soon as baby arrives.
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Old 01-01-2013, 09:51 PM
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Dakotah Dakotah is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: GA
Posts: 7,998

Originally Posted by eddieq View Post
Glad he's out of your life. Make sure he takes financial responsibility for this child he has fathered in you, though.
Boom. Agreed.
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Old 01-01-2013, 10:09 PM
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ihartgonzo ihartgonzo is offline
and Fozzie B!
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Northern California
Posts: 5,903

Wow. I'm so sorry. (( how unimaginably heartless and stupid of him. And the girl is a absolute bitcg for getting with a man who has a pregnant girlfriend!!! Ughh. You know they're not going to last, and he's going to be left alone, regretting his terrible mistakes. It's better for you to not have him in your life right now while you need to focus on preparing and staying healthy for your baby.

<3 Erica, Gonzo & Fozzie
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