Disappointment over gifts

[Fran101]

Originally Posted by Fran27

Depends. Would be nice if we all could be happy to give gifts to everyone, but in reality there are people you are happy to give something to, and some you feel obligated to. If you go out of your way to find something nice for those people you feel obligated to give something to, and they give you crap in return, well... yeah that might sting a bit.

And if you buy things for your nephews and the parents don't get anything for your kids... it's not being whiny or ungrateful. It's your kids. I'd be frankly hurt for my kids, too. Of course it totally depends on how much money others have too.

I think with kids its different. Especially when they aren't old enough to kind of "get it" and at the age where gift exchanges are done at school or big family parties.. it's understandable that it should be fair and parents should make an effort to make sure it is. Even if it's opting out, doing secret santa, making gifts etc..

[NicoleLJ]

Originally Posted by milos_mommy

Nicole, that makes sense, but especially as your kids got older as long as you're putting thought and effort into giving your kids what they want, I would hope they don't expect you to spent an exactly equal amount of money every year.

.

The only gift they got the same of this year was the memory blankets. But even then each memory blanket was designed for that specific child. Each had 15 photos on it but they were centered around the child recieving it. Even the colors were different. I can post photos if you would like to see them. Every other gift after the memory blanket was geared towards that childs interests. So different sizes, shapes, costs. Hence why they got differing amounts of gifts. Nico got the largest in size (5 in 1 gym and a jungle jumper exerciser off Kijiji). My daughter got one of the smallest gifts. A pack of earings centered around her interest in posiden.

[Fran101]

I hate these people.

[Red.Apricot]

I was very slightly disappointed this year because I didn't get any surprises--I knew what all of my gifts were before I opened them. But! That doesn't make the gifts any less special, thoughtful, wonderful or perfect, and the people who gave me the gifts will never know I felt that way.

The only time I've ever thought about money was this year, actually--my best friend gave me something worth easily 6-10 times what I spent on him. :[ There's no way I could have reciprocated and I felt a little bad. I know he was excited about finding something I'd love, though, and I do absolutely -love- what he got me.

TL;DR: I agree that it's not about the money, and while people get to feel however they feel, you should keep those feelings to yourself if they make you sound like a spoiled brat.

[milos_mommy]

Originally Posted by Fran101

I think with kids its different. Especially when they aren't old enough to kind of "get it" and at the age where gift exchanges are done at school or big family parties.. it's understandable that it should be fair and parents should make an effort to make sure it is. Even if it's opting out, doing secret santa, making gifts etc..

Yeah, these people aren't at big family party. They mailed the gifts to family who live out of state. The kid is like 2 or 3 months old. He's not going to know his aunts and uncles (who he's never met) didn't send him presents.

If you're going to a family gathering with little kids and bringing gifts for some of them and not others, I do think it's wrong not to sort something out beforehand and know which kids are getting gifts.

[Fran27]

Originally Posted by Saeleofu

I was APPALLED at my nephew's sister's reaction to her gifts. She's not even blood related to anyone in our family, but we still have her over for Christmas and buy her gifts we think she'll love anyway, because we care about her.

Seriously? Do you realize how rude and insensitive your comment is? My kids are not blood related to anyone in our family either. They're still MY KIDS. My nephew's sister (half sister) is still our niece.

What a horrible, horrible things to say.

[ACooper]

Originally Posted by sassafras

The way I see it... if giving gifts was meant to be tit for tat, then we might as well all just buy ourselves a bunch of gifts and be done with it.

Agree.

I have family members who can't afford to get me ANYTHING (and I know that going in) but I still remember them. My happiness is seeing them happy.....may sound idealistic or corny but it's completely true.

Originally Posted by NicoleLJ

Personally to me it is more the thought and time that goes into a gift that counts then the cost.

Agree.

Example: Smkie took the time to cut me some snowflakes and mail them to me as a surprise! Things like that mean so much more to me than $ value.....she thought of me while making and mailing them and THAT is priceless

I will say I would be disappointed if my mother shoved cash at me on Christmas. I don't care if it was $1000 in a card..........no time, thought or effort was put forth and I'm pretty sure (unless I needed and asked for cash) it would seriously hurt my feelings.

[CaliTerp07]

If you only give a gift expecting something in return, it's not a gift--it's a weird justification to get something yourself.

I don't like giving gifts at Christmas--I do it out of a sense of societal obligation, but I would much prefer that gifts were given at that magical moment that I find something that screams "__________ would love this!" and gave it just because.

[yoko]

I think it depends on the situation. I think it's totally ok to be disappointed over a gift. But at the same time I find it incredibly rude to actually vocalize those feelings.

I may be coming from a different point of view than other people. I do appreciate when people go out and get me gifts. But I was/am a tomboy. I've never been into clothes, shopping, dolls, anything pink. When I was growing up that's all my grandparents and mom bought me. They weren't buying for me they were buying for the me they wished I was and that sucked.

When it comes to the price I don't really care. I LOVE pens. I'm ecstatic when my friends buy me gel/nice pens for my birthday/christmas. I could have spent $50 on them but I'm super happy to have friends who know what I like enough to go buy me that.

IMO being disappointed isn't something you can control. Being ungrateful is.

[Saeleofu]

Originally Posted by Fran27

Seriously? Do you realize how rude and insensitive your comment is? My kids are not blood related to anyone in our family either. They're still MY KIDS. My nephew's sister (half sister) is still our niece.

What a horrible, horrible things to say.

REALLY? You think it's rude of me to say we care about her even though she's not blood related? In what world is that rude?