Stephy's midnight musings/updates

[Greenmagick]

Ok, wow, people are taking this way too....something. Yes, the original story is fishy and I am pretty sure exaggerated at best, maybe totally false at worse. I have not seen anyone "attack" or start a witch hunt however, I have seen some blunt posts and that is really expected...needed....and warranted.

[Doberluv]

Originally Posted by Danefied

I think this pretty much sums it up for me.

I feel tremendous compassion for Steffy, but enabling her is not a compassionate thing to do. It's self-serving, doesn't help Steffy at all.


I think we could all use a little less BS in our lives.
I've seen chaz turn on folks with some serious venom. For all we know some of those folks were hurting as much if not more than steffi, they just didn't voice it online.
If compassion is only reserved for those who put out the most effort in to advertising their misery, then we're a sorry lot indeed.

Compassion is not reserved for only those who open up more. But what we read is all we really have to go on. And I think that's unfair to call people self serving when they are just trying to be nice. And I don't happen to see it as enabling...not at that point yet. imo.

[sillysally]

Originally Posted by Lyzelle

Didn't even read the whole thread. But there sure are some catty bitches on this forum. If anything, I hope you breeders, rescuers, and "friends" are proud of how you've publically displayed yourselves. Chaz isn't any place for friends or a needed vent. It's a witch hunt. I wouldn't trust any of you with anything, god forbid your advice about anything.

I don't have any issue with how I have "publicly displayed" myself in regards to this topic. I'm sorry that you dislike Chaz so much. Why do you come here if we are all such vile, cruel people?

[sillysally]

Originally Posted by Danefied

I think this pretty much sums it up for me.

I feel tremendous compassion for Steffy, but enabling her is not a compassionate thing to do. It's self-serving, doesn't help Steffy at all.


I think we could all use a little less BS in our lives.
I've seen chaz turn on folks with some serious venom. For all we know some of those folks were hurting as much if not more than steffi, they just didn't voice it online.
If compassion is only reserved for those who put out the most effort in to advertising their misery, then we're a sorry lot indeed.

[Airn]

Originally Posted by Linds

I just wanted to say I find this completely and utterly untrue. I've made some wicked vents on here and made some even more amazing friends on this forum.

I agree with this. My best friends are 'online' friends. I don't socialize much. I've known most of my online friends for 5+ years. They know me better (on some levels) than my 'real' friends know me. So, while I haven't been on this forum long enough to make friends, I've made plenty of online friends. Sometimes it is hard to know what is real and what is being exaggerated. But, honestly it can just as hard to know if someone is being serious 'in real'. This is definitely one of those times. I don't know enough about Stephy or her situation to have an opinion on the validity of her posts.

I don't think any of what is said will make a difference, personally. She might be reaching out, she might be whining. She might might be listening, she might just want to talk about mashed potatoes and crappy roommates. It doesn't really matter. Those are who supporting/enabling will continue to do so and those challenging/attacking will continue to do so as well.

Too many questions and not enough answers in this case. I doubt she'll divulge enough information to satisfy everyone.

I feel bad for her, but I'm more of a tough love kind of person. I'm not heartless, I'm realistic. Some people need help and when they get it, they succeed. Some people get help all their lives and just end up becoming dependent and whiny. **** happens. People deal with it differently.

I hope she gets help, but I can't say it affects my life one way or the other if she does. I will agree with some who say some of the validity matters since another forum member has her dog. I would hope someone wouldn't drop off their dog on someone else, so I'll assume she really is having problems. But, even though I love my dog, if I was this depressed I doubt the hope that I could get my dog back would change my life.

This has just shown me that if I decide to display personal information and ask for vibes/advice/whatever I need to be prepared to give the full story. It's like in high school/Facebook (same thing, right?) when people say something along the lines "Omg I'm so mad at this situation. It's really awful." But when asked by someone "What's wrong? How can I help?" They become mute and offer excuses like "Oh it's personal." or "I can't tell you on here. The person is might see. I'll text you." I just choose to ignore those people. Sometimes there are not excuses for the reason you are acting a certain way. Lots of people have been depressed and/or suicidal.

I honestly have no idea what to think on this matter. It's confusing as hell. But it's certainly sparked quite a controversy on this forum.

[ThoseWordsAtBest]

Originally Posted by Doberluv

Compassion is not reserved for only those who open up more. But what we read is all we really have to go on. And I think that's unfair to call people self serving when they are just trying to be nice. And I don't happen to see it as enabling...not at that point yet. imo.

Well, I think it's equally unfair to imply that people who question the story are uncaring and whatever other stuff that has been associated with people questioning the truth. It's just ingrained in me on the internet that if someone uses photos that aren't actually of them and posts an incredulous never ending tail to say "Wait. Explain this, this, and this please." In the end, no one is being wrong. It comes with the territory of posting on a public forum.

I think whoever this gal is she does obviously need help, but not in a way where every one just accepts whatever is presented. Sorry, if someone claims they're now prostituting no one saying "Welp, be safe!" is helping and not any more so than people questioning the validity.

[sassafras]

Originally Posted by Doberluv

How do you know it's merely attention seeking and not reaching out for help? Are you a psychiatrist? Even then, without knowing her more, how can you assume it's enabling or the same thing as giving an alcoholic a drink? If someone is feeling desperate and reaching their hand up for someone to grab hold of, have someone be encouraging... is that enabling? If someone were about to fall off a cliff and all you had to do was throw them a rope or reach your hand to pull them back, would that be "enabling?" Is enabling a bad thing? Enabling someone to live?

I think attention seeking IS reaching out for help. And I think a better analogy to what I'm trying to say is that stomping on the gas pedal when someone is about to drive off a cliff is enabling a poor choice. And yes, enabling is a bad thing when it encourages unhealthy behavior and poor choices.

Originally Posted by Doberluv

But I'm not donating money. Just me. And that's for free and doesn't cost me a thing. If it helps, great. If it doesn't because it's all a sham, then....oh well. At least I know I have the ability to try.

Except that there is a real person taking care of a real dog in this situation. It's not you and it's not me, but there is the potential for real, tangible consequences here.

[JessLough]

Originally Posted by ThoseWordsAtBest

Well, I think it's equally unfair to imply that people who question the story are uncaring and whatever other stuff that has been associated with people questioning the truth. It's just ingrained in me on the internet that if someone uses photos that aren't actually of them and posts an incredulous never ending tail to say "Wait. Explain this, this, and this please." In the end, no one is being wrong. It comes with the territory of posting on a public forum.

I think whoever this gal is she does obviously need help, but not in a way where every one just accepts whatever is presented. Sorry, if someone claims they're now prostituting no one saying "Welp, be safe!" is helping and not any more so than people questioning the validity.

This.

It's HEALTHY to question things you read/see.

Ask Questions.

[Beanie]

Originally Posted by Doberluv

But I'm not donating money. Just me.

That might be true of you but cannot be said of all members here at Chaz. Most notably Romy who has the dog in her home, but I know others were involved with that, and I have also seen multiple members offer further assistance, which may or may not have been given/accepted. But in this post I will only further address Romy since she has pretty clearly given the most as far as something you can measure here.

However, unless things have been said that I am not privy to (which I admit is likely because I am honestly trying to stay out of this dramafest) Romy is not complaining about housing the dog. She did so willingly and out of the goodness of her heart, which having been here for seven years I know is not out of character for Romy - I have seen her offer help and assistance to many Chazzers multiple times.

I don't claim to know how Romy would feel if it turned out this is nothing but a pack of lies and she was being taken advantage of. I do, however, understand why people are reasonably concerned that Romy IS being taken advantage of... even if, should the worst be true, Romy would simply say "I opened my heart and my home to somebody I believed needed help and I have no regrets." God knows many of us are protective and react more strongly in defense of another person than even ourselves - I am one of those. Cross me, well that's not good for you - but cross someone I care for, and I will destroy you.


So I think that is what you have here. People who are skeptical and worried that Romy is being taken advantage of, even if Romy herself does not have the same concern. Because members HAVE been hurt and taken advantage of here... many many people had their hearts broken over what happened to Reggin, so though one might claim "I'm only giving my love and support and that is free," it certainly wasn't free for those who were highly emotionally invested in a dog. And we all love dogs here, myself included, but what's happening here is people being highly emotionally invested in a PERSON. And I cannot imagine how hurt many people would be should this turn out to not be true.

IMO that is why people are skeptical... and why things are turning a bit harsh.

[Doberluv]

Originally Posted by ThoseWordsAtBest

Well, I think it's equally unfair to imply that people who question the story are uncaring and whatever other stuff that has been associated with people questioning the truth. It's just ingrained in me on the internet that if someone uses photos that aren't actually of them and posts an incredulous never ending tail to say "Wait. Explain this, this, and this please." In the end, no one is being wrong. It comes with the territory of posting on a public forum.

I think whoever this gal is she does obviously need help, but not in a way where every one just accepts whatever is presented. Sorry, if someone claims they're now prostituting no one saying "Welp, be safe!" is helping and not any more so than people questioning the validity.

I don't think I implied that someone questioning the truth is uncaring. I just think it is scary to risk being outwardly suspicious and calling her a liar etc if she's being truthful and her story is really what she says. I have no problem with questioning the truth or wondering, thinking that it's awful if it's not true. But I think those kinds of thoughts should be kept under the bed for a while longer until we know more. The risk of fall out is too great. That's all.