Can I just rant at you all while I pull my hair out.
UGHH. I don't think I need advice, just a freakin' hug and some sunshine.
I just made a to-do list.
I made this to-do list after I woke up sweating bullets with a heart-rate of 130, struggling to catch my breath. I pretty rarely have panic attacks anymore, but almost always do when I first wake up. My dr put me on a supplement and it helped for a few weeks, but now it doesn't seem to be doing much.
The fact that my to-do list has about 25 things for me to get done in the next three days isn't helping. At all. (yep, complaining about it on Chaz is obviously going to help).
I need to go to the Post Office and mail out some gifts for kids in need. The package is already late because a) the letters went out late after hurricane sandy and b) my mother put the letters some asinine place and forgot about them even though I asked for them EVERY DAY for about a month. When she gave them to me she actually said "those weren't what you were waiting for, were they?"
Sooo I ask my brother, who is lying around playing video games, if he can go mail the packages for me.
"I don't know how to do that."
Uh, you're a 19 year old straight A college student with a fairy difficult and complex job headed to med school...FIGURE IT OUT. I said "you go up to the man at the counter and tell him you'd like to mail these boxes to the address which I will give you, and he will ring you up and you will pay him." and my brother said he would, but it's an hour later, he hasn't left, and I have a strong feeling he's going to get there, then come home with the boxes because the counter person will ask him if he wants a warranty or something and he'll be unable to handle that.
Oh, and don't get me started on how the advising office at my school completely screwed up (ie, didn't do) my medical withdrawal, and when I realized this and contacted them again they were like "you need to come into the office tomorrow, because that's the last day for withdrawals." Uhhh, if I'm physically unable to come to class because of medical reasons which I have already described to you, wtf makes you think I can come into the office which is four hours away on public transportation? So they gave me a person to contact about it, and I sent her the paperwork this morning, and if she doesn't write back in about five seconds I'm going to completely flip out.
The dog behaviorist came the other day and it seemed to go really well and my whole family was there, they seemed really into it and willing to work with us....now it's been two days with zero training sessions (which is a 2+ person job) because "it's been raining".
AND WHO'S DONE ABOUT ZERO CHRISTMAS SHOPPING BECAUSE I FAINT PRETTY MUCH EVERY TIME I GO TO THE STORE? *raises hand*. I'm giving up and doing it online, but it's probably too late to order much in time for Christmas and I hate myself for waiting.
I won't get started on the "I have about six doctors appointments in the next three days, I have to go to doggone family court because my baby's father is being a huge PITA, my mother has shingles and a broken foot and I'm refusing to clean up after my very capable father and brother like she does so my house is a horrific disaster, I haven't done laundry in probably a month because the handrail to our basement washer/dryer came down and I'm too dizzy to go down the stairs without it, apparently the doctor might put me on bed rest if the fainting doesn't stop"....and I think that's it.
If you read any of that you're a saint.
"My favorite color is green, green like newly cut grass. When it comes to green with envy, though, you can stick it up your @ss!" ~ Grammy