An Actual conversation that just took place in my house

[Dogdragoness]

True, others not pulling their own weight can be exaserbated by those who enable.

I was just venting a little on ppl who take advantage of others giving nature. My mom is having to take care of my grandma & one of my aunts always has excuses as to why she can't make it down here for her "turn" (my mom rotates 2 week shifts with her three sisters) so I can kind of relate

[CaliTerp07]

Maybe your mom is just crazy (I obviously don't know her!) but is it possible that the frustration and stress isn't about laundry or dinner at all, and there's something else that's got her on edge?

I know when I'm really stressed about work, I'll snap at Zach for the stupidest things and make mountains out of molehills. My mom is currently...not her best...because she's frustrated and upset that my adult sister (at 25) is still living at home with no real career prospects, despite having a college degree and good grades. Despite the fact that my sis absolutely does all her own chores and fends for herself in the kitchen, my mom is a ball of nerves and gets upset over things that shouldn't justify so much emotion because she doesn't know how/where to direct her true frustrations.

[Saeleofu]

my adult sister (at 25) is still living at home with no real career prospects, despite having a college degree and good grades. Despite the fact that my sis absolutely does all her own chores and fends for herself in the kitchen

The fact of the matter is a degree doesn't get you anything anymore. I'm in a very similar position, but I'm working on my 2nd degree, this one with a more specific focus (zoo science) and I've got my foot in the door at the local zoo.

That said, I do everyone's laundry (really everyone's, not just mine and one other person's ), pay for and/or make dinner (for everyone) a couple times a week, and help out wherever else I can between my two jobs and school.

My older brother, on the other hand...he's 31, has no degree, dropped out of college several times (only goes at the beginning of the semester to get the financial aid), and talks big about his future career...but never does anything to pursue it. And he makes more money than anyone else in the house, and NEVER helps out. He might buy dinner once a month, but then you're supposed to be FOREVER GRATEFUL AND INDEBTED to him for it. He pretends he pays for the chicken feed and my parents' dog food, but then when he's broke (2 days after he gets paid) he asks for the money to cover the feed. Last week he gave my parents $100 for utilities, then asked for it back the next day because he "misbudgeted."

[CaliTerp07]

Originally Posted by Saeleofu

The fact of the matter is a degree doesn't get you anything anymore.

Well, she chose to get a degree in a field that has no future outside of academia or law school (and she doesn't want to be a lawyer). She also doesn't want to move out of state where there ARE jobs (I have offered to try to get her a position here, but she doesn't want to leave California). It's a mess of a situation. And the longer it goes on without her making progress, the harder it's going to be to find a career with long term prospects vs. a job that semi-pays the bills.

[Laurelin]

Originally Posted by AdrianneIsabel

Move. Move far away. My relationship with my dad got better when I wasn't in the same house as him. People are crazy when confined together.

Yep this. I think it's hard being an adult and living with parents/siblings/etc sometimes. Especially parents if you're expecting to be treated like an adult. I moved back in with my ad for a little while after college and omg, I was so frustrated with all the 'You need to clean your room!' etc etc etc. Much nicer relationship now that I have my own space so we're not constantly clashing about keeping the house just right.

Originally Posted by CaliTerp07

Maybe your mom is just crazy (I obviously don't know her!) but is it possible that the frustration and stress isn't about laundry or dinner at all, and there's something else that's got her on edge?

That too.

[Dogdragoness]

Nope, I only have a H'S education & I make "ok" money ... Better then some ppl I know from H'S that got college degrees.

[Fran101]

Originally Posted by AdrianneIsabel

Move. Move far away. My relationship with my dad got better when I wasn't in the same house as him. People are crazy when confined together.

This.
I love my parents I really do but there is just something about not living with them that just..
I dunno.. bliss? lol

I have met some people who live with the parents and it just WORKS.. my parents and I are not like that lol apart we are close as can be.. living in the same home we do nothing but butt heads and bicker.

[Dogdragoness]

It's also strange how when one becomes an adult ones relationship with their parents changes from that if parent/child to more like ... I dunno... Friend?