How to save yourself from toxic people

[Doberluv]

I really liked this article. I think it's very helpful and there are some good links as well to check out. What do you think about it?

http://www.wikihow.com/Save-Yourself-from-Toxic-People

[ACooper]

Nice. I just skimmed it, I want to read it more thoroughly later after I run some errands

[Renee750il]

It would be easier if they'd just let us shoot 'em.

And then they wouldn't go out and do it to someone else.

[SkyRock]

I needed this! Thank you

[Doberluv]

Isn't that the truth Renee. LOL. Some of those toxic people can seep into your life so insidiously, you don't even recognize right away what it's doing to you.

Oh good SkyRock. I think lots of us need to be reminded of this stuff once in a while because it's so easy to get caught up with toxic people and not really know how to handle them exactly. Some are easy to simply weed out of your life and some not so easy....if they're family. It can be complicated and downright debilitating in some cases.

[Renee750il]

Or you're raised with/by them, so it takes awhile to realize that it's not the normal course of events.

[Kilter]

Originally Posted by Renee750il

Or you're raised with/by them, so it takes awhile to realize that it's not the normal course of events.

EXACTLY!!!!!

My family is very toxic. To the point that they don't know where I live, have my number or see us. We are 'no contact' with them, because there's no middle ground or talking to them and sorry, do not want to have to either take medication to stay sane with the stress they add or have to monitor every single detail of a situation to make sure it's good and healthy for my kids.

My mother is the main issue but her personality issues have been passed down to my siblings and my father and they all do the same things and support the toxic behavior.

It's ok for my mother to tell her then 8 year old grandchild that 'grandma will still love you when she dies' and then talk about killing herself. It's also ok for grandma to take over parenting choices and do things against the actual parent's wishes because 'she knows what she's doing'. Or support her son in his gambling and drug issues by providing him with a free place to live, cooked meals and laundry service while he makes great money and goes out all night. It's also ok for the entire family to 'block' members who aren't walking the line (which is why we ended up not talking to them, what good is family when you can't reach any of them at all - not saying they didn't email within 2 minutes, I mean MONTHS go by with no response).

Anyway for us it's better to cut the tumor out and let it rot elsewhere.

But the article is good for the lessor toxic people out there that you can monitor (in our case anything short of having my mother with a key and the ability to walk in at any time wasn't good enough!).

[Doberluv]

That is so true Renee. And too, there are family members in my case for instance, who have a mix of toxic parts and perfectly good, healthy, and positive traits about them, myself included, I'm sure. But when it's all pervasive and seriously damaging, that is hard to extract yourself from them until you're an adult. And even then, many people don't have the wherewithal to deal with it.

Kilter, you sound like you've had a rough time in your family. It's good that you have separated yourself from that.