Why do you lurk?

[mjb]

I love reading this forum although I'm 'hot and cold' on how much I log in based on what else is going on and how much time I have.

I'm quiet and not naturally a 'joiner'. I have to push myself to get involved in group activities, and I have to remind myself that I enjoy it once I do! So it might be that non-joining attitude that keeps me from being more active here.

Jumping into conversations is extremely difficult to me although much easier when you can type and submit. But even online, unless you post quite a bit, it seems like you may not get into the flow of the conversation going on. I know when I have occasionally joined a conversation here, I might get no response to whatever I posted. I am sure if I posted more people would tend to respond more.

[Doberluv]

Originally Posted by mjb

I love reading this forum although I'm 'hot and cold' on how much I log in based on what else is going on and how much time I have.

I'm quiet and not naturally a 'joiner'. I have to push myself to get involved in group activities, and I have to remind myself that I enjoy it once I do! So it might be that non-joining attitude that keeps me from being more active here.

Jumping into conversations is extremely difficult to me although much easier when you can type and submit. But even online, unless you post quite a bit, it seems like you may not get into the flow of the conversation going on. I know when I have occasionally joined a conversation here, I might get no response to whatever I posted. I am sure if I posted more people would tend to respond more.

I hope you will join in more. Maybe you'd find it was more fun than you think, once you get more involved. You could try posting some pictures of your dog (s). See...I don't even remember what dogs you have. Yeah, there's always a risk of not getting replies or not getting many replies. But oh well. Anyhow, hope you will post more.

Originally Posted by ~Dixie's_Mom~

I agree with the people who say they feel like a lot of Chazzers are close and it feels a bit like intruding to post at times. I don't go to chat for that reason. I comment on people's dog pictures, and occasionally ask questions that I trust Chazzers advice on, and even though I do tend to post quite a bit, at least IMO, I lurk a LOT more than I post. I'm on Chaz every single day, I read MOST threads/posts, but I don't always reply. I also tend to start making threads and then deleting them. Instead I'll usually pm a member that I think can help me with my question. Mostly because I feel like there are a few users who have something negative to say to me no matter what I post. But for the most part, Chazzers are awesome, and even though sometimes I don't feel like I'm truly a Chazzer (like I said, I feel like an intruder at times, plus I've never met another Chazzer) I DO consider myself one of you guys. I've been here a long time, and have been through a lot with you guys. I really do love Chaz.

Pshaw, you are too a Chazzer. And as for meeting a Chazzer... I pass through Memphis a couple times a year. How close is that to you? If you're close, we can have a short meet up on my way through. Bam. Problem solved.

[Brattina88]

Originally Posted by GipsyQueen

I have periods of being very talkative and periods where I just Lurk... I've been on Chaz for almost 6 years now (whoa) and only have 5,000 something posts. I'm pretty quiet in real life and like to listen and observe more than talk - esp. if alot of people are talking at the same time.

This is what I was thinking.... I've been on Chaz for like 8 years now and I only have 12000 posts?
I am also really quiet in person and I probably do post more than I would actually talk lol I am a natural people-watcher

Gee now I sound more like a stalker than a lurker

[Danefied]

I’m obviously not a lurker, but sometimes I do get frustrated with this forum and walk away for a while.

I have several threads that I have started, just fun, light stuff that I shared to share a smile, that got totally ignored. Like ZERO replies.
Yet, post something controversial, or against the flow, and you get a bazillion replies - hrm... what behavior are we rewarding here?
So then I create a conundrum for myself because it seems like my online “persona” is combative, and that I only post to argue, yet when I post to share of any other side of myself, its often ignored.

Originally Posted by Jenne

There is a core group that is really close and sometimes it feels like you're interrupting when you post on a thread where they are having a conversation.

This. Not a clique in an intentional exclusionary way, but a clique in the sense that people know each other really well and don't know you. So their posts get interpreted based on a friendship, and your posts get interpreted as combative (see above). Its just frustrating.

[Linds]

mjb, you need a sig and userpicture thing! That really helps to remember you so when your posts are infrequent you still are remembered.

Originally Posted by Danefied

I’m obviously not a lurker, but sometimes I do get frustrated with this forum and walk away for a while.

I have several threads that I have started, just fun, light stuff that I shared to share a smile, that got totally ignored. Like ZERO replies.
Yet, post something controversial, or against the flow, and you get a bazillion replies - hrm... what behavior are we rewarding here?
So then I create a conundrum for myself because it seems like my online “persona” is combative, and that I only post to argue, yet when I post to share of any other side of myself, its often ignored.

I think everyone has those kind of threads. I know I've posted things and got very few replies. But that happens, especially if other people don't appreciate it the way you do or sometimes they get bogged down or other times everyone does everything they've been saying they do in this thread, read, don't reply but think up a reply in their head.

But yeah, controversial will ALWAYS get you more replies. People are going to feel way more strongly about that than something cute.

[Laurelin]

I can't lurk. I get the urge to talk too much.

[Fran101]

Originally Posted by Laurelin

I can't lurk. I get the urge to talk too much.

Same.

and I'm one of those people who babble (online or off) when nervous.
Sooo if faced with the feeling like I don't belong or that I stepped on toes or anything.. I TALK EVEN MORE.

it's quite unfortunate lol

[yoko]

I get what a lot of people are saying though. I use to be really intimidated by the fact that quite a few chaz people have met each other.

I've only started posting a lot more recently because after my issues in late July I can't really do much except stay home XD

[Dizzy]

I don't think making friends with people, or being part of a 'clique' has much of anything to do with anything. I don't come on here to make friends, I don't meet people (they're miles away), I don't add people to my facebook, or chat to people outside of this forum. Someone added me to the facebook page, but I don't post on it... I do look at it occasionally, so I suppose I'm a lurker there.

I just post when I want to post. If someone was in the UK and passing, I'd always offer a place to stay because I have no reason not to, and it could be fun (and I try not to turn opportunities down should they arise!!), but I don't think you need to make friends here to join in, or feel part of the "community".

I'm a bit funny about adding people to my personal space... I don't even like adding work colleagues to my facebook and I see them every day.

I have gone into chat before, but if I'm honest, I never got particularly thrilled by it.....

I like commenting on things, and I can't hold my own water so post things a lot (pictures, random waffles). But I am like that in real life.... I just share a lot of mundane wiffle with anyone near to me I talk to strangers at bus stops (and I don't even use buses). I don't form lasting friendships with them though

I wouldn't be put off from posting because people seem to chat to each other.... just post

This is literally one of the only websites I go on. I don't browse tons, I look at facebook and here. Dunno really....... it's just been there for the past 7 years