Adopting children

[JoLeigh]

http://www.theadoptionfirm.com/2011/...ange-her-mind/

I Say this just to get the facts out there this is the law now though Like I said when I was adopted my Bio had one year to refute the adoption. This only is for domestic adoptions though and it is different from state to state.

[Fran101]

Originally Posted by JoLeigh

http://www.theadoptionfirm.com/2011/...ange-her-mind/

"birth mother must still prove fraud, duress, mistake, or undue influence to get the child back up to one year after the consent is granted. To my knowledge, an adoption has never even been contested during this time in Alabama; and there is no record of any case law speaking to it ever being raised. But, the law must plan for the worst."

anytime after that the mother must prove the child was kidnapped.

Alabama is a great example though so I'll quote this

SUMMARY OF ALABAMA ADOPTION LAW
Time Period Can birth mother get child back?
1-5 days Birth mother can get the child back for any reason.
6-14 days Birth mother must prove (1) that it is reasonable for her to get the child back and (2) that it is in the child’s best interest.
15 days – final decree Birth mother must prove that fraud, duress, mistake or undue influence was used in gaining her consent to the adoption.
1-yr + Birth mother must prove kidnapping.

I'm just trying to dispel the ugly idea people have that with ANY domestic adoption the mother can wake up one day years down the road and decide she wants her kid back and get him/her.
MANY people adopt internationally or don't adopt at all due to this very FALSE fear.

Legally, after the mother signs consent, if everything is done correctly (She isn't forced, kid isn't kidnapped, you aren't abusing the child) your child is your child. Unless there was kidnapping.

[JoLeigh]

The Part you quoted is all after the consent has been signed no a month after the adoption is finalized it is near impossible for the birth mother but the first two weeks she can and the first 5 days at any point she can change her mind. The week starts from the time of consent or the birth of the child what ever comes first.

Over 2 decades ago things were very different and untill I was one year old my bio could have recanted. I am SO thankful that this has changed because it was hell on my mother.

[yoko]

I'd like to weigh in since I was internationally adopted but I'm on my cell. I guess I'll see where this convo is when I get home.

[oakash]

I've always wanted thought it was unfair of the Christians I know to preach pro-life, and then when I brought up fostering or adopting the children, they would cringe back and look kinda horrified. Not even say that they wouldn't be the right kind of people or that it was too expensive, just the thought of having a child that wasn't 'yours' wasn't right. So I've wanted to foster children, and lately I've been thinking about adopting as well.

I have a ... well I forget how she's related to me, but she's a little spanish girl who was born without arms and possibly a small mental impairment because her mother was a crack head. This girl is amazing. She can do everything with her feet. Everything. She can tie knots with her toes better then I can with my fingers. I think she is what made me realize that there are children that need help, and I've never liked the idea of being pregnant, so adopting would be perfect for me

[CaliTerp07]

Originally Posted by stardogs

Just curious, but why do so many people go with international adoption when there are plenty of children needing homes here? We have friends who just adopted a baby girl in their state - they were able to be there shortly after she was born and she went home with them just a few days later. It seemed to work incredibly well for everyone involved.

I can't speak for anyone else, but for me, personally, I feel the need is greater in many of these third world countries as others have voiced.

Others like the idea of a child from their same heritage (it's hard to tell a domestic agency that you want a Korean child unless you want to wait forever), others visit a country on vacation or a missions trip and feel a bond with the children there, others can't explain why, they just feel called to do it.

I agree with the comment though that at the end of the day, where the child comes from doesn't matter in the least (so long as it's a reputable agency). You provided a home to a child without one.

[CaliTerp07]

Originally Posted by oakash

I've always wanted thought it was unfair of the Christians I know to preach pro-life, and then when I brought up fostering or adopting the children, they would cringe back and look kinda horrified. Not even say that they wouldn't be the right kind of people or that it was too expensive, just the thought of having a child that wasn't 'yours' wasn't right. So I've wanted to foster children, and lately I've been thinking about adopting as well.

That's always bothered me too. I have a friend at church who once made the comment that she "never understood why people bother with adoptions, when it's so much work and the children tend to have issues anyway." Seriously? We are called to tend to orphans--not just make our own babies!

[Romy]

Depending on the age child you're look at, teens are pretty well available and many don't get the homes they need. My dad was adopted as a teen. His adopted parents were awesome. They pulled him and his 10 year old sister out of the orphanage. They had 4 or 5 kids of their own, and adopted 6-7 others that were sibling groups with teens in them. It was so good for the kids because they were older and had grown up with their siblings, and didn't have to be separated from them to get parents.

It's a whole nother set of issues you're dealing with though, but possibly something to look into.

There's a facility in WA too called Friends of Youth that houses teenage boys who were brought into the US through human trafficking. Many of them were used in the sex trade (it happens to boys too ), drug trade, etc. and ended up in juvie for various reasons. Because they are illegal aliens, because they are minors, and because the vast majority of them are orphans in their home country and have no adults to be sent home to they are sent to that organization instead.

There they learn English, get legal help (like for getting citizenship), sometimes they can find a relative willing to care for them back home. Sometimes they are available for adoption if people are interested. Most of the time they just live there until they are old enough to be emancipated or turn 18. Some of the boys are as young as 10-12 though.

[milos_mommy]

I really do want to domestically adopt/foster/both in the future.

I don't have much to add, except that I wrote a paper on transracial adoptions in the US a while ago, and what I learned is that A LOT of agencies still don't support transracial adoptions. They may have to deal with them domestically because of civil right's issues, but plenty of adoption agents in the US will find reasons not to place children with a family of another race. Many people still believe a child is better off in an orphanage or being bumped from foster-to-foster with caretakers of their own race, than place into a stable home with parents of another race who can not understand racial issues the child will go through.

[sparks19]

I made mention of thinking about adopting a child to my dad and he was like "Why? It's so much work and money and it's a pain in the a$$"

:O Guffaw... How is it that I share your DNA? OY. I mean... sure all of that is probably true but what a SMALL PRICE TO PAY to give a child a GOOD and LOVING home.