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  #61  
Old 10-03-2012, 06:28 PM
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sillysally sillysally is offline
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Originally Posted by JessLough View Post
You know, the double standard here is interesting. Can't afford am emergency vet visit should something happen? DONT YOU DARE GET A NEW PET. Cant afford to feed the kid you have? By all means, go have another kid! Let everybody else pay for it!
Who said everyone should go out and have babies if they cannot afford to feed their kids? The OP was talking about was a birthday gift, not food.

Also, you cannot accidentally "have" a dog like can happen with a child. If a family is a loving one that would otherwise be good parents and someone accidently gets pregnant, I would much rather have my tax dollars go towards the family needing WIC or food stamps or something as opposed to the woman having an abortion. And this is coming from someone who does have bills, pays taxes, etc.

And technically children are a right. You have a right to reproduce as you see fit as a consenting adult, and that includes bringing children into the world.
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  #62  
Old 10-03-2012, 06:41 PM
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Originally Posted by JessLough View Post
You know, the double standard here is interesting. Can't afford am emergency vet visit should something happen? DONT YOU DARE GET A NEW PET. Cant afford to feed the kid you have? By all means, go have another kid! Let everybody else pay for it!
LOL I hope no one here considers food a birthday present.
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  #63  
Old 10-03-2012, 06:52 PM
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Originally Posted by sassafras View Post
LOL I hope no one here considers food a birthday present.
I totally would! Especially a gourmet dinner out...lobster, steak, some fancy desert. You bet. But a kid? Probably not. lol.
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  #64  
Old 10-03-2012, 06:53 PM
JessLough JessLough is offline
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Nah, I wasnt even talking about the OP anymore, as many of the posts were not about that situation.
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  #65  
Old 10-03-2012, 06:54 PM
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If I got a bag of fritos and tom sturghis pretzels for my birthday, I'd be ecstatic. And I'd eat them all and say, "none for you!"
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  #66  
Old 10-03-2012, 07:05 PM
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Not that this has anything to do with the OP, but... I've told this story before (maybe not here), but I've known a handful of people on public assistance over the years, only one who had the entitlement mentality that everyone seems to think is so rampant, but only one who ever got off. She and I had many long conversations about it and from her I learned that the system is actually messed up enough to make it very difficult to get off assistance.

In her case, she had gotten pregnant as a teenager, and although she and the father were still together and he helped support her, they didn't get married and he didn't report the money he gave her as income or her benefits would have been cut dramatically. He worked construction at the time so his work was spotty and not reliable as a sole income, not enough to actually support them and a baby. She went to a trade school, got good work, they got married and she got off assistance and has been for many years at this point. She flat out told me that she didn't think she would have ever gotten off assistance if she hadn't cheated.

Now, she was a highly motivated, intelligent and driven person, and she hated every second she was on public assistance, but what about someone who isn't or who didn't learn good life skills from their parents? I always think about her whenever I start to have those "just squeezin' out kids for welfare" kind of feelings. Things aren't always what they look like.

In any case, I'd rather have a safety net that catches some people who don't need it than no safety net at all.
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  #67  
Old 10-03-2012, 07:11 PM
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Originally Posted by StephyMei1112 View Post
I can deal with having train wrecked my own life - I can't deal with wrecking a child's. I just can't. Kids are privileges and gifts - not rights and commodities. They should be provided with love, correct guidance (not saying that anyone's particular guidance is correct or uncorrect - only speaking for myself), support, compassion, and basic stability. If I can't provide these elements to a child then I am not going to have one anytime soon. Regardless of money I am not a fit person to be a parent or to raise a child - I'm not sad about it at all; Not allowing my irresponsibility or recklessness affect a innocent soul will be my contribution to the world.
I like this.

The amount of judgery and high horsery in this thread is...obnoxious. And I'm not usually the person that says that.
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  #68  
Old 10-03-2012, 07:42 PM
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Originally Posted by JessLough View Post
You know, the double standard here is interesting. Can't afford am emergency vet visit should something happen? DONT YOU DARE GET A NEW PET. Cant afford to feed the kid you have? By all means, go have another kid! Let everybody else pay for it!
I don't see anybody saying that. And I don't think the two are comparable.

Unless you're disabled and rely on a service dog, you don't NEED a dog. They're not human beings, and while most people love their dogs they don't consider them equal to a blood relative. They also don't have a comparable lifespan to a human being.

Telling people they can just adopt out any oops babies is like... whoa. Okay.

Being pregnant is really hard work. For some women, after gestating a little bean inside their bodies for nine months and going through the birth process, just, adoption isn't an option. I could never do it. Especially when you consider that children have roughly 20 years (sometimes more) of depending on you and then live decades beyond that. It's not remotely comparable to buying a pet. Not even.

Anyway, rich people can have a catastrophe and lose their home in an instant. It's happened to a lot of people in the past few years. Poor people can graduate school and get an awesome job before their kids are even old enough for public school. Someone who has been laid off might find an awesome new job next week. Income is just such a transient thing, I don't see it as a reason to terminate a pregnancy or give up a child to adoption.

I'm wondering how someone with children would explain adopting out their younger sibling due to finances without traumatizing them.

And like it's been said repeatedly, just because someone is poor doesn't mean they're living on public assistance.
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  #69  
Old 10-03-2012, 07:48 PM
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Originally Posted by darkchild16 View Post
Thats what happened with us. I begged to get my tubes tied after Morgan for my HEALTH and every dr denied it. Too young, didnt have 3 kids, not enough complications....
I was lucky. I was 28, no children and my doctor approved me having my tubes tied. It was very easy. During my exam she asked if I wanted to continue with bc pills, my response was, "Can I get my tubes tied?"

She said, "Sure. Why?"

"I don't ever want to be pregnant," was my response.

"Okay, I do surgeries on Wednesday mornings. I'll be right back with my openings."

My insurance paid for it. You may be able to find a doctor who is willing to do the procedure if you find one who is GLBT friendly. They tend to be more open-minded IME. Also, if you go to the ESSURE website they list doctors who perform that procedure. They may be more open-minded.

As for having children when you can't afford it... Well, in theory it's a great idea, but it's not something that should be enforced. Circumstances could change and birth control can fail. Though I do think if you are on government assistance and get pregnant you should NOT receive additional money.

I also think after 6 months of collecting you should either show attempts to earn a living or going to school with 3.0 gpa. As long as you are enrolled in school and haven't earned a degree but are showing that you following that path you can continue to collect. Once your program ends you have another 6 months to locate a job. After that, all bets are off. Of course, this would be in an economy where there is a job market. Right now I've been unemployed for over a year and I've been job searching the entire time in multiple states.
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  #70  
Old 10-03-2012, 07:51 PM
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24 is the earliest they will do it and I was 22. No amount of begging would make them do it.
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