Broke people making more kids...

[Renee750il]

Originally Posted by yoko

Ok I'm going to admit. As someone who is adopted the fact that you think adoption means selling and buying a child is incredibly offensive

Sadly, Yoko, there are private adoptions that are essentially that. People who want to adopt a newborn of a specific ethnicity, for example.

It doesn't mean they aren't going to love the child they adopt, just that they can afford to set up a private adoption, often arranged before the child is born.

Other scenarios happen as well, like same-sex couples who would have a difficult time adopting through regular channels.

[darkchild16]

Originally Posted by JessLough

So you should, I don't know, PLAN FOR IT. Have a cushion. Its not that hard.

Guess what. I HAVE BILLS TO PAY TOO. I could get kicked out of my house. I could be rear ended on the freeway. So because I decide not to have kids because I can't afford it, I should have to pay for somebody else's kid? Problems don't only crop up when you have kids. It can happen to anybody.

You can plan for it and something goes wrong. Sorry but thats life.

We had 500 saved up months before Morgan came and ALL our bills paid for 2 months when we had Morgan. Dad had his accident. There went the fund to cover us just in case. Jeremy had to take a week unpaid at work, our emergency funds were tapped money was TIGHT. We sold something on ebay to cover Connors birthday. Only to find out you dont get the money right away. Thankfully someone let us borrow the money and pay it back. If dad hadnt of had his accident that NEVER would have happened.

[darkchild16]

Originally Posted by zoe08

I think that planning a child when you can't afford the child you have (that includes celebrating their birthday...doesn't mean you have to spend a fortune on it) is completely irresponsible.

I do not think you need to be rich to have children, but I do believe you need to be financially responsible. And that means not living on government assistance.

Yes people can get pregnant while on birth control though it is rare, especially if used properly and you use 2 forms of birth control if it is a really bad time to have another baby (which is anytime you really can't afford it). And situations can change, but it is also why I do believe you should have an emergency fund before planning to have another baby and really you should have one no matter if you have children or not. But I believe the money should be in place already before planning to get pregnant.

We are not financially well off and there are a lot of things I say I can't afford, but that's because we do have an emergency fund, and try to keep funding it. I however would never say I couldn't afford to buy my child a birthday present or anything that they NEEDED.

We used 3 and SURPRISE.

[zoe08]

Originally Posted by darkchild16

We used 3 and SURPRISE.

Not saying it can't happen, just saying that the MAJORITY of people who have "accidents" aren't using birth control properly or doubling up.

I believe that it can happen....I just had a freak out thinking it might have happened to me (test was negative though), I just don't think that everyone who has an "accidental" pregnancy can blame it on birth control failure.

[Greenmagick]

True, but using multiple kinds of BC isnt always healthy either so can't really blame someone for that IMO.

[Lyzelle]

Originally Posted by zoe08

Not saying it can't happen, just saying that the MAJORITY of people who have "accidents" aren't using birth control properly or doubling up.

I believe that it can happen....I just had a freak out thinking it might have happened to me (test was negative though), I just don't think that everyone who has an "accidental" pregnancy can blame it on birth control failure.

No, they certainly can. Condoms break, most women aren't educated on what medications may make your birth control not work, IUDs and Implanon depends entirely on the doctor placing them. Things like Depo can wear off weeks before another dose is due. Some doctors have given women low dose hormone therapy, when they needed full dose for pregnancy prevention. Even more than one type of birth control, without telling a woman that she shouldn't use both, because it would render both useless. It's a combo of a lot of things. Plus just regular fail rates.

Birth control failure is actually fairly common.

[yoko]

Originally Posted by Renee750il

Sadly, Yoko, there are private adoptions that are essentially that. People who want to adopt a newborn of a specific ethnicity, for example.

It doesn't mean they aren't going to love the child they adopt, just that they can afford to set up a private adoption, often arranged before the child is born.

Other scenarios happen as well, like same-sex couples who would have a difficult time adopting through regular channels.

I understand it can happen but to put it out there like it is the norm, which it isn't, makes it harder on families who go through a legit adoption agency.

They already go through questions like when are they going to have their real child, how they could love the child even though they didn't give birth to them, along with other personal asinine questions. There is one where a parent of an international adoption is asked if they just wanted an Asian doll. Things like this where people who have no idea continue to push the image of children and babies being 'product' just makes another hurdle adoptive families run into.

[Fran27]

Originally Posted by darkchild16

You can plan for it and something goes wrong. Sorry but thats life.

We had 500 saved up months before Morgan came and ALL our bills paid for 2 months when we had Morgan. Dad had his accident. There went the fund to cover us just in case. Jeremy had to take a week unpaid at work, our emergency funds were tapped money was TIGHT. We sold something on ebay to cover Connors birthday. Only to find out you dont get the money right away. Thankfully someone let us borrow the money and pay it back. If dad hadnt of had his accident that NEVER would have happened.

Yeah but you didn't go and try to get a 3rd kid in these conditions, lol. That's the difference.

[darkchild16]

Originally Posted by Fran27

Yeah but you didn't go and try to get a 3rd kid in these conditions, lol. That's the difference.

Actually Morgan was number 3

[Fran27]

Yeah sorry I didn't count the first one... lol. Ok, I meant 4th