Broke people making more kids...

[JessLough]

Where did I say people need to be rich for 15 years? People should be able to afford the care for their one child without relying on others before having another child.

[darkchild16]

Originally Posted by Lyzelle

It happens. The system is broken. And the majority of people who have kids aren't going to be rich.

My mom was on food stamps when she got pregnant with me. How? No doctor ever told her birth control doesn't work while on antibiotics. Then she got pregnant again, after me, depo didn't work. Miscarried. Ditto with my brother. Depo shot ran out too quick.

Annnddd....no one would tie her tubes. Imagine that. There's a lot more to this topic than just, "Oh, people need to be rich for 15 years". Things. Happens.

Thats what happened with us. I begged to get my tubes tied after Morgan for my HEALTH and every dr denied it. Too young, didnt have 3 kids, not enough complications....

[Fran27]

Yeah except as I said, this one was planned, lol.

And no, you can't 'sell' your children. You can find gullible people who will pay your rent, your electrical bills and whatnot while you're pregnant in the hope that they'll adopt your child though (yes, sadly, it's legal in some states).

[Lyzelle]

Originally Posted by JessLough

Where did I say people need to be rich for 15 years? People should be able to afford the care for their one child without relying on others before having another child.

And maybe they were great with one kid. But kids are expensive. And, again, things happen. You can't foretell when things are going to get tight. Having a kid in the USA, even just BIRTHING them, is $50,000....not counting anything like c-section, NICU, post natal care, etc. Then what if a kid gets sick? Breaks their arm? Car troubles? Crappy landlord kicks you out? Someone rear ends you on the freeway? Tornado comes through and damages your house?

There's a lot more going on in peoples lives than, "oh, well, they are broke, they don't deserve kids!"

[yoko]

Originally Posted by Lyzelle

It happens. The system is broken. And the majority of people who have kids aren't going to be rich.

My mom was on food stamps when she got pregnant with me. How? No doctor ever told her birth control doesn't work while on antibiotics. Then she got pregnant again, after me, depo didn't work. Miscarried. Ditto with my brother. Depo shot ran out too quick.

Annnddd....no one would tie her tubes. Imagine that. There's a lot more to this topic than just, "Oh, people need to be rich for 15 years". Things. Happens.

Ok I'm going to admit. As someone who is adopted the fact that you think adoption means selling and buying a child is incredibly offensive

[JessLough]

Originally Posted by yoko

Ok I'm going to admit. As someone who is adopted the fact that you think adoption means selling and buying a child is incredibly offensive

I'm pretty sure that, at least when I sell things, I get money for it.

Also, it appears to be location. Some places in the US adoption coats nothing or very minimal to place a baby up.

[MisssAshby]

Originally Posted by Lyzelle

And maybe they were great with one kid. But kids are expensive. And, again, things happen. You can't foretell when things are going to get tight. Having a kid in the USA, even just BIRTHING them, is $50,000....not counting anything like c-section, NICU, post natal care, etc. Then what if a kid gets sick? Breaks their arm? Car troubles? Crappy landlord kicks you out? Someone rear ends you on the freeway? Tornado comes through and damages your house?

There's a lot more going on in peoples lives than, "oh, well, they are broke, they don't deserve kids!"

I don't think when it was mentioned poor, it means that you had something happen and money will be a little tight for a month. We are talking about month after month you can't afford extras, you can't afford to buy your kids clothes -- and if you do buy extras your rent gets several months behind, etc.

I'm pretty sure every single person in this thread has had a month where money was tight because of an unexpected expense. On the flip side, if you have set money aside for emergencies it should be much easier to handle.

[JessLough]

Originally Posted by Lyzelle

And maybe they were great with one kid. But kids are expensive. And, again, things happen. You can't foretell when things are going to get tight. Having a kid in the USA, even just BIRTHING them, is $50,000....not counting anything like c-section, NICU, post natal care, etc. Then what if a kid gets sick? Breaks their arm? Car troubles? Crappy landlord kicks you out? Someone rear ends you on the freeway? Tornado comes through and damages your house?

There's a lot more going on in peoples lives than, "oh, well, they are broke, they don't deserve kids!"

So you should, I don't know, PLAN FOR IT. Have a cushion. Its not that hard.

Guess what. I HAVE BILLS TO PAY TOO. I could get kicked out of my house. I could be rear ended on the freeway. So because I decide not to have kids because I can't afford it, I should have to pay for somebody else's kid? Problems don't only crop up when you have kids. It can happen to anybody.

[zoe08]

I think that planning a child when you can't afford the child you have (that includes celebrating their birthday...doesn't mean you have to spend a fortune on it) is completely irresponsible.

I do not think you need to be rich to have children, but I do believe you need to be financially responsible. And that means not living on government assistance.

Yes people can get pregnant while on birth control though it is rare, especially if used properly and you use 2 forms of birth control if it is a really bad time to have another baby (which is anytime you really can't afford it). And situations can change, but it is also why I do believe you should have an emergency fund before planning to have another baby and really you should have one no matter if you have children or not. But I believe the money should be in place already before planning to get pregnant.

We are not financially well off and there are a lot of things I say I can't afford, but that's because we do have an emergency fund, and try to keep funding it. I however would never say I couldn't afford to buy my child a birthday present or anything that they NEEDED.

[Lyzelle]

Originally Posted by yoko

Ok I'm going to admit. As someone who is adopted the fact that you think adoption means selling and buying a child is incredibly offensive

I didn't say adoption WAS selling and buying a kid.

I said it can cost several thousand dollars to each party, depending on where you are and how you go about it. And there are plenty of people out there that love to bash someone when they are broke. If they were on welfare, and did get compensated for carrying the kid, placing it in a home that could care for it, etc, etc, it's a perfect set up for slander. Just as it is for abortion, and even now, people are doing the same for even thinking others should be allowed to have kids only under X and X circumstances.

Either way, the mother is going to get bashed, and people are going to bash. That was the point I was getting at.

Adoption is not selling your kid any more than abortion is killing it.