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  #31  
Old 09-20-2012, 08:00 AM
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Originally Posted by CaliTerp07 View Post
FWIW, this is certainly not how I saw things.

There is hope! LOL One foot in front of the other...
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  #32  
Old 09-20-2012, 08:12 AM
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Actually I do have to admit that if it weren't for the purple circle and the significant interference (think throwing away scholarship offers before I ever got them and lots of lying) the rest of it would have meshed pretty well.

I could have been through law school by the time I was 22.

Went to go back to get into school at 24 and got told my parents made too much money for me to qualify for any assistance -- I hadn't lived at home or had any help from them for six years. By that time I figured the Universe was trying to tell me something
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  #33  
Old 09-20-2012, 08:15 AM
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I think this whole notion that you MUST love your job absolutely is just unrealistic. I know that sounds pessimistic but I honestly believe it's the truth. Find something interesting enough and that you like well enough and pays enough to live on, imo. My job isn't my life, it funds my hobbies and funds my being able to live on my own, which is priceless.
Very much this!

When I was younger, I loved to write. I wrote stories all of the time and wanted to be a writer when I "grew up."

Right before I started high school, we moved to Florida. One of the semi-local high schools was a "School of the Arts" where you had to "audition" to get in. My parents pushed me into auditioning for their creative writing program. The program was very intense and involved constantly writing about things I didn't want to write about. I ended up leaving to go to a "normal" high school 2 years into the program. I didn't start writing again for "fun" until a couple of years after college due to the burnout!

Anyway, what I'm saying is that I'd rather do something that is interesting enough to keep me motivated, and pays well enough for me to be able to live and buy the fun things I want. I want to keep my hobbies and loves OUT of my work week, so I can enjoy them during my free time.

I think everyone goes through an awkward point. I went off to college straight after high school, found a job, got married, bought a house, and my life STILL feels awkward. We want to wait until we're in our early 30s to have children, and people are constantly bugging us about this! We're 25 and 27 years old, and we're just enjoying being married, traveling, and doing the things we want to do. So it's very awkward when all of the people our age are having kids... but it's more important for US to do things at our own pace and our own way, and that's all that matters

It sounds like you have a lot of good things going for you, Brittany (and all of the other chazzers who posted in this thread!). There is no blue print for life that fits everyone... it's really a do-it-at-your-OWN-pace kind of thing.
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  #34  
Old 09-20-2012, 08:52 AM
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My advice? It's your life. Don't like it? Change it. We are at that great age where (other then the pooches of course) our responsibilities are flexible. The world is your oyster, so to speak.

Go back to school and get a degree in something. Start with part-time, take a handful of classes you are interested in/need to take (always do a mix of both), and go from there pick a major for YOU. Forget about what is marketable... 90% of the population have jobs that have ZERO to do with their majors lol so just go with it. Get good grades. Trust me, it will open doors.
or don't. I mean, I've always LIKED school..which made my next step easy to choose. Ya, some classes kind of stink but mostly, I love to learn in the classroom environment. find a way that you DO love to learn.. find an internship, a volunteer program, hobby classes, martial arts, art, photography.. just finds something that makes you feel happy.
I'm majoring in ENGLISH! Lol arguably, the least "employable" major.. and I love it and am now doing better and loving school more then I ever have in my very-employable-science major.

MOVE. Somewhere, anywhere. Pick a city you love and just GO. Trust me from somebody who just did it, it's scary to think about leaving but once you do.. it's liberating, it's amazing, it's awesome. Do I miss the places I've left? Ya, I do miss my old friends, old jobs etc.. but I don't ever want to look back and know that I just stayed where I was because I was comfortable and scared. The places you leave will always be there to take you back if the move sucks, worst case scenario.
Live by-yourself, rent a room in a 10 bedroom home, rent a room with a family, get a studio tiny enough to be mistaken as a closet and make it your own.

Oh but this, oh but what about that. SHUT UP AND JUST GO. I'm not saying moving will make you happy.. because honestly, unhappy people will be unhappy just about anywhere. I'm saying that moving will give you a fresh start, somewhere to try new things, learn new things and meet new people and just..try.
Who was it that said, you'll regret the things you didn't do far more then the things you did.
and I certainly don't know who said this but.. "Before you diagnose yourself with depression, first make you that you aren't, in fact, just surrounded by as*holes" LOL

Look,the average human being spends 30% of their life working.
and about 1/3 of the rest of the time sleeping.
and 1/3 for everything else + etc..

Finding a job is important. Paying for stuff is important. but call me the eternal optimist but I personally believe in finding a job I love or at the very least ENJOY. I'm not spending 30% of my life hating what I'm doing or just making it until the end of the day.
I don't want to find a job with great vacation days.. I want to find a job I don't feel like I need to escape from!

"Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle." - Steve jobs.

I'm not saying you need to find a career that makes you want to break out into song.. but don't settle for an environment you hate just because it pays. Find something that does pay well, but please don't settle for something you HATE in an environment that makes you unhappy. The paycheck really isn't worth it if you dread waking up in the morning to go to work.

I am a proud escapee of the rut. I went to a school for a program I didn't love because I felt I was expected to, worked to make money, watched way too much netflix and spent way too much time on the internet and just..existed.

and one day I just moved. I applied to a bunch of schools in cities I liked with programs I enjoyed and just..packed up and left. I only applied to jobs that I thought would be fun and found one that I love going to every day. I found a tiny apartment I could afford that could easily be mistaken for a closet.
I signed up for martial arts classes and photography workshops and a watercolor painting class and calligraphy and yoga because they were things I always thought "one day..." but never felt I had the time. I stopped saying things like "I don't have time" because dammit. I did have time. I HAD PLENTY OF TIME. If I had enough time to watch the entire season of grey's anatomy in one sitting, I had enough time to actually do something I enjoy and that would be productive.

Your life doesn't start when you graduate high school, or get a career, or have kids, or graduate college, or have X amount in your savings, or find true love..you are living it right now and if you keep waiting around for life to hand you joy on a silver platter or for you to reach this magical time where you will have enough money, time, energy, and motivation to do all the things you want.. then you are going to be waiting a LONG LONG time.

People say crazy things like "Do things you love and love will find you." and at first you kind of want to kick those people in the face.
Until you start taking a martial arts class and meet a boy who thinks your awesome for learning how to fight and makes your heart flutter. And just like that..it happens.

You could walk out of your house tomorrow and get hit by a bus. or get diagnosed with bubble boy syndrome and never be allowed to leave your house! So do what makes you happy and explore and find passion..right now. You don't want to look back at your 20's.. when you are older with kids and a family and a career and a 401K and a mortgage and arthritis and realize that the years you COULD'VE done all those things you wanted and ticked everything off your bucket list and explored and took the time to just be young and selfish and follow your passions have already passed and instead of living them you spent them.. doing anything less then taking full advantage of them.

Some people might label me as a bit (ok very) optimistic or naive.. but that's my advice.
There are still moments in my life where I'm like "what am I doing.." and I feel awkward! lol that's life. but I dunno, I enjoy every day as much as I can and just kind of trust it'll all work itself out lol
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  #35  
Old 09-20-2012, 10:03 AM
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Awesome post Fran, as usual.

Life is a absolutely what you make of it. I think I'm fortunate that I work in a field where I am reminded each an every day how fast life can change. Just live each & every day and live it your own way. There is no "right" way to live. People get caught up in timetables and expectations and forget to just live in the moment. I always say there are too many people living FOR the moment and not IN the moment (which I was guilty of for a long time).

My family doesn't go to college, had children really young which results in young or multiple marriages, working miserable jobs because they have to and spending too much time not enjoying it. I broke away from the mold, went to college out of high school, landed my full time dream job before graduation, fell in love with a man 15 years older than me & never want children. My family thinks I'm insane for all of my life choices because it's so foreign to them but I am happier than I could ever be.

My life still feels awkward sometimes but there's the whole saying "it's only as awkward as you make it".
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  #36  
Old 09-20-2012, 02:34 PM
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I finally found something I'm passionate about that gives me so much inspiration that keeps the juices flowing just thinking about it.

For the longest I thought that my dream job was being a veterinarian. All due to, as a child, I use to watch Emergency Vets all the time and it seem perfect for me to be an animal doctor since I loved animals sooo much. I basically sign myself to being a veterinarian at a young age and didn't consider any other career because "veterinarian is the only one for me!" Around age seventeen I begin volunteering at humane society since you needed a large volunteer foundation to become a veterinarian. While I like volunteering, I wasn't exactly too enthusiastic about it. It can be a stressful atmosphere with dogs and cats screaming for your attention. And someone oh so eloquently stated that as a vet your going to be dealing with miserable animals all day. Dogs and cats who are going to be crying and whining because their owner left them. Then when I went to community college and took some biology classes and then I realize something I should have realize a long time ago. I. Don't. Like. Science. Never have. Growing up I only thought of the animal side and never the technical side of it all. Taking four years of science courses and four more years of even more science courses made my inspiration to be a vet go waaay down. So I don't want to deal with science class nor do I want to have a job with animals. Bye, bye veterinarian.

You know whats interesting? I applied for a scientific college before I decided to go to a community college and that college turn me down. When I went to a community college I was still trying to get a AS in biology and I took an art class. That art teacher there fueled my long forgotten art passion. I enjoyed it when he gave us drawing assignments and he was really impress with me and even recommended me becoming an illustrator. If I was accepted into that scientific college I would probably still be going into a miserable path of a veterinarian. I started practicing my art every single day and after two years of community college, I drop the veterinarian career and went for animation. I was always more of a creative-driven person, and I want to one day become a creative director for a cartoon show. As of now I'm taking a semester off and focusing on creating a kick-a** portfolio so that I can get a good scholarship to help with the cost of art school. My dream is to be able to live independently without any money help from any one.

In terms of the "dream job" I agree with Laurelin that as long as the job is interesting for you than that should be enough. Life is too short to deal with a job that you hate, and yet I think most people don't work in their "dream jobs" or that they find their dream jobs weren't anything like they expected. My dream job right now would be traveling the world trying to make a difference, especially in areas such as improving education and helping out the children who lack a future due to a lack of education. Or being a wild life photographer who travels the world to get the perfect shot. I like the idea of traveling around the world, learning about new cultures, seeing unique sights, but I decided against that route due to the fact that it seems like a pretty lonely life to live. And always moving isn't what its crack up to be since you have to deal with the long flights, moving to and fro to places which can take hours at a time. One day I will take a time from my work and travel and help out so I wont miss that experience.
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  #37  
Old 09-20-2012, 07:28 PM
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Fran, you're absolutely right! Your posts are always so great and inspiring too.

I would love to just... move. I think it'd be good for me. I think that's why I kind of wanted to just get an AA degree in something stable where I could find a job almost anywhere... so if I do decide, oh hey, I'm going to up and move somewhere... that way I, at least, have decent options available to me.

And I do think I get pressured by the way others expect life to work. Then I also get down because most of the people around me (family etc) aren't happy in their lives... my dad is in a miserable marriage, so is my mom, my aunt, uncle, grandma... LOL... literally like every one around me is not overly happy with their life. So I think sometimes I get dragged down by constantly being around them too. I do want to be the first person in my family to actually lead a good "normal" life and not just end up.... stuck because you have kids, etc! I've learned sooo much from their mistakes, so I thank them for that.

I've actually always wanted to go on a road trip with Jackson and take him to a bunch of different places... I looovee traveling with my dog, and he loves it too. But I've always been somewhat afraid or unwilling to do it alone. I don't know why I feel like I am supposed to have someone with me to do these things. And then if I mention something like that, my dad (even tho I'm 22) gets all worried and says it's not safe, and such and such... so yah then I end up not doing those things that I want to do. Like I would love to drive to South Carolina, Jackson in tow, and just do a ME trip...

I also feel like a lot of times I lost a good 2 years of my life after my little brother died... I was 16 and the last two years of high school I did not get to really truly enjoy that much... I definitely had some fun times, but I was sooo behind on everything .. getting my learners/license, never went to prom, etc, etc, while all my friends were taking their SAT's, and moving off to college, and I stayed behind at home, I think it definitely put me in a "lull" somewhat, but then again I never had any desire to go off and do the dorm living thing either.

But I've definitely been feeling more motivated lately .... I'm not an unhappy person, for sure. Through it all, I've always been pretty positive/etc. Now with our charity foundation kicking off bigger than ever, I'm real inspired to continue on with that and continue turning into a business... I haven't yet been able to give myself a paycheck but one day I will, once we make it big enough. So I know I DO have a great opportunity in this to have my brother's name live on, and have something I'm very passionate about, and also make some money at the same time.

So yeah I do think I have a lot of great things to look forward to, if I just continue to stay motivated and strive to be the best I can be!
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  #38  
Old 09-20-2012, 08:16 PM
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Fran, AMEN!

I realized a long time that I am probably not going to find a job that I LOVE, I'm not going to find my "dream job"... heck, I don't even know WHAT my dream job is. I thought being a vet tech was it, but here I am working as a VT and hating every minute of it! But what I do know, is that I need a job I can at least get some enjoyment out of. I can't wind up in a career that I hate. Why would I want to spend the next 40+ years of my life being miserable every day? I will sacrifice some money for happiness (although it's not like I was going to make even halfway decent money as a tech).

Goodness I wish I could just pick up and move and try something new.
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  #39  
Old 09-20-2012, 08:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Taqroy View Post
The absolute best thing I did was power through that "Oh FRICK I have no idea what I want to do with my life" phase.
Best advice ever lol

I guess I'm a bit older than the majority of the folks here. I was getting married during the subject time frame and definitely in a "oh dear what am I doing" moment lol. Always swore I'd never get married before 30...had stuff to DO...but the universe works in mysterious ways.

It's been a wild ride so far. Lots of moving, different jobs, addiction to the dog sport world, etc. Parts of it was...not fun. I mean really really not fun. But yeah I guess I have a tendency to kind of close in on myself and power through them. So far it's worked out...with the help of a bit of luck and taking chances that panned out.

Life's not perfect but it's a whole lot better than the alternative
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  #40  
Old 09-20-2012, 08:45 PM
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I dunno... I think it's a balance.

I enjoy my job, some days it's a lot of fun and some days it sucks. Most days it's in between. I'm definitely not saying get a job you hate, but I also think it can be unrealistic to expect to have that dream job that is always wonderful and always fills you with joy. My job right now puts me in a group I love, it's interesting, I get more volunteer opportunities with it, etc. And it pays for my own house and car and dogs and life.

I hate working when work = my passion. I can't be an artist for a living because it takes away any passion I have for art. It's miserable for me.

I'm much better doing my science-y computer-y thing 40 hours a week then enjoying my many three day weekends. I love working hard on a team and then I LOVE being able to leave it at the office and forget about it until tomorrow.

Brit, I lost a good two years after my mom died. I think that is very normal in the grieving process. I'm just now really feeling like myself
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