My toxic relationship with my granddad

[sillysally]

Originally Posted by sassafras

I guess it's just hard for me to wrap my head around willingly participating in the toxicity and then complaining about how horrible it is... You can't control his behavior, but you can certainly control whether or not you shout F*CK YOU or whisper "I hate you" at him when he says something hurtful, or indeed whether you go at all. *shrug*

This. I would also not assume that he is faking it. Dementia is a terrible and not incredibly well understood thing.

[StephyMei1112]

Small update:

My dad informed me that his brothers in law (my mom's brothers and granddad's sons) have no interest whatever in doing anything else for him - they complain of paying his bills and for the domestic worker already (they control his finances). My mom will not step up to the plate or do anything apart from the visits/occasionally bringing him something to eat/cleaning up garbage in his house - and my dad whom has...unfortunate relations with his in laws - doesn't want to embroil himself or make more of the mess that already is.

Haven't seen my granddad since the first post of this topic - haven't been back at all or heard about him. but I do hope he is ok and at least stable.

[Doberluv]

Well, it doesn't sound as though he has ingratiated himself with any of the family. And this is what has come of it. It's too bad and quite sad really, to think that he has no one who cares about him too much. It would be nice for someone to step up to the plate, in spite of his history or how his attitude is now. He probably won't be around much longer and it would be a tragic thing to go out of this world thinking you didn't matter to anyone.