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  #21  
Old 05-15-2012, 01:11 PM
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I have a cousin who we think is a sociopath. He's in his mid twenties and is in a gang, has been for a while. He's been arrested several times. He has a little 6 year old nephew who is terrified of him and refuses to enter his bedroom (the grandmother tried to let him have the room because my cousin no longer lived there but the boy was too scared to go in). My cousin seems jealous of him. I remember as a kid we were going to have him over once (he lives in another state) and my grandmother came over and told all of us to hide our money and valuables. I was scared but when he was here I thought he was one of the nicest people I'd ever met, VERY polite. He carries weapons all of the time, there have been drive by shootings at his mother's house, it's a mess.

My mom said that they could all tell he wasn't right even as a small child. He threatened to stab his mom to death when he was like 5 or 6. I definitely think it's something you can be born with, something in the genes.
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  #22  
Old 05-15-2012, 04:19 PM
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No. When you start digging on those cases you find out there's a whoooooooooooooooole lot more too them than 'bad kid kills kid'.

The bulger case for example. That case changed the way the public viewed child killers, but for all the wrong reasons.

You can trace every act back to a root.

And dont forget development starts in the womb. So technically bsbys can be born disadvantaged, but there's a cause and circumstances that result in the adult or child behaviour.
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  #23  
Old 05-15-2012, 05:15 PM
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I do think some are born, but more often, I think they are made. When they are "made" I do think there is hope in getting them back, moreso than when they are just born that way.

There was a story on the radio awhile back about the test they give to determine if one is a sociopath. The problem is, if you fail, thats it. There was a man who in his teens, in a very tumultous time in his life mugged a man (with several others as well). During the mugging, the victim was shot and killed. The victim also turned out to be a police officer so it got heated fast. Somehow, even though witnessed all disagreed about who pulled the trigger, this one boy was found to be the only guilty one. (AND dont get me wrong, he definitely IS guilty).

He was given the test and came back as a sociopath. HE got life in prison, no chance ever of parole because of that test. However, everyone involved with him wants him out now, say that he has changed so much (Its been like 40 years).

I think that people, in horrible situations, in self preservation actually do shut down their empathy, their compassion, even their conscience to an extent. TEst them then and they get labelled a sociopath forever condemned. However, I also KNOW that many, or probably most, can heal, can get better, can go on to live normal lives if they get help

I guess one could argue that he is conning everyone, that he has not changed. But I dont know, while those type of people do definitely exist, I think more often people really can heal
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  #24  
Old 05-15-2012, 05:22 PM
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My neice is one of these kids. From the time she was a year old sitting in the car seat next to her brother she would TORTURE him. Not regular brother sister fighting. She wanted to HURT him. She would do violent things to him just for fun. She would torture their pets. her parents caught her multiple times hurting their dog for the pure sport of it. She would manipulate her parents to get her brother in trouble. One time she was caught by one parent in another room smacking herself on the face until she had a big red welt and then ran to the parent blaming her brother. She would hurt HERSELF to spite her brother.

Now she is an "adult". She is 18. She has an infant son that is so badly neglected that at 8 months old he can't even SIT UP and not because he has anything wrong with him but because she neglects him. childrens aid has been involved from the start with her baby and I can't fathom why they haven't removed him. They have told her parents that she is not to be left alone with that baby. She's been investigated for leaving her baby home alone while she goes out to "party". She is apparently taking oxycotin but for me this is just hearsay so I can't be certain on that.

She is VIOLENT. She moved out into an apartment and was evicted within the first month after she destroyed the place. she put holes in all the walls with her rage, she abuses her boyfriends and I wouldn't be surprised if she's laid hands on that baby before.

She's been diagnosed as bipolar and narcissistic personality disorder. The police KNOW her. she calls them anytime anyone ticks her off and claims they are abusing her... she's been doing this since she was a little girl. Now the police show up and say things like "Are you off your meds again? you NEED to take your meds". They've charged her before with abusing the 911 system and other things.

She was not abused as a child. She was the one that could do no wrong because she was SO good at manipulation from such a young age that she was always the victim and her brother was always the one punished.

I fear that if they don't remove that baby he's going to die at her hands.

I think genes play a big part. My sister in laws family has a pretty long history of mental illness. her and her three sisters don't seem to be overly affected by it other than some depression issues but the boys seem to get the worst of it. In and out of jail all the time.

I don't know what I would do if I were the mother of a child with this issue. I think the biggest issue is my brother and his wife NEVER got her any kind of therapy or help. they just couldn't see her issues.
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  #25  
Old 05-15-2012, 05:23 PM
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I think genes can affect resilience to a degree, influence predisposition to mental illnesses, maybe even determine if someone is happier than someone else.

I don't think you're born a killer though. I just don't think its that easy. I think its bad luck. Bad genes, bad experiences.

And remember... What we perceive as a good upbringing could be a very different experience for the person living it.
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  #26  
Old 05-15-2012, 05:27 PM
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And to be fair, we dont always (or ever really) know what really happens to someone else. Sometimes one family member is abused when the rest arent, either by a parent, family member or random person.
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  #27  
Old 05-15-2012, 05:39 PM
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It's true that you never really know but you get a good idea when they lived with you and you can see it happening right in front of your face. My neice was always the ABUSER. When she got old enough she started abusing her own mother.
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  #28  
Old 05-16-2012, 01:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sparks19 View Post
It's true that you never really know but you get a good idea when they lived with you and you can see it happening right in front of your face. My neice was always the ABUSER. When she got old enough she started abusing her own mother.
I really am willing to bet my own face, head, and other important parts of me on there not only being a cause, but a solution.

I work with these scenarios day in, day out.

The only problem is, that if you don't intervene early enough its nigh on impossible to change. But not totally impossible.

I have worked alongside a clinical psychologist with 30 yrs experience of adults and children, who often display these kind of traits. On cases where kids are on the brink of being dangerous.

She practically knew the kids history without even seeing the files just because of the behaviour displayed. There's a pattern.

If you don't think there's a pattern, its just because you haven't seen it. Yes, genes may play a part in the resulting person, but I do not believe in soley nature OR nurture.
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"Dogs are our link to paradise. They do not know jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing wasn't boring, it was peace."


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  #29  
Old 05-16-2012, 02:14 AM
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Originally Posted by Dizzy View Post

The bulger case for example. That case changed the way the public viewed child killers, but for all the wrong reasons.
Ugh, I was re-reading about that case recently and I'd forgotten how horrifying it was. Perhaps it struck me as more horrid due to my kiddo being close to that age. Blah
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  #30  
Old 05-16-2012, 04:07 AM
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I don't know if children can be a true psychopath. I do know that some people are born angry and stay that way. I grew up in a household ruled by an excessively angry child. It was hell until she moved out.
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