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  #101  
Old 03-13-2012, 11:13 PM
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Miss Mia and Mis Lil, Or should that have been Mrs.?

I do declare! I wished I lived in the south. Maybe I'll move.
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  #102  
Old 03-14-2012, 12:00 AM
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Originally Posted by Miakoda View Post
Ummm. Wow.

I'm "from the south"....
Okay? And on with the rest of your post. Whatever? I have been to other areas in the South, as I said later on, and I did like them. But the Memphis area is terrible. And you know, I gave people the benefit of the doubt for SEVERAL years, until I made a few "Southern" friends and they let me in on the "back language". I always thought people were so sweet, then I figured out they were just out to get the neighborhood gossip.

Take yourself out of the equation. It was my experience, in one area. Whatever you do, hundreds of miles away, did not affect the people who I dealt with.
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  #103  
Old 03-14-2012, 09:20 AM
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I am FASCINATED by this thread!
Its such an interesting conversation of how to use language to convey respect (or snark! ) and how we can manipulate language to our purposes.

I grew up speaking Spanish, and in Spanish you have no choice, you HAVE to chose how to address someone - either in the familiar or the formal. There is no escaping it, the language doesn't allow for a "neutral" form of addressing someone, because its tied in to the verb form you use. (Interestingly there is also no way to designate something as genderless either - as in "it").

I always used the formal "usted" with adults growing up, never thought a thing of it. Transitioning to "ma'am" when we moved south was fairly seamless for me. I don't see it as contrived or stodgy. Sure you can make it sound snarky, but its generally meant as common coutesy, much like you would say please or thank you to a bank teller - its not heartfelt, but its absence is considered a slight.

My children use "ma'am" with me and "sir" to my husband which throws my own mom in to coniptions (which is great incentive for me to encorage it in my kids ). Yes, I'm mature that way .
They don't use it because I force them to, but because that's just how we talk down here. I just as easily respond "yes ma'am?" to my daughter when she says "mama?" Or I say "ma'am" or "sir" to my students instead of "what" or "pardon" when I don't hear what they say. Again, not forced or contrived, simply common courtesy and manners. When in Rome do as the Romans do and all that. Its language and language DOES have meaning. When I address someone as "ma'am" I'm not elevating them in status or anything, I'm simply conveying respect for our interaction.




Quote:
Originally Posted by Lyzelle View Post
But Mississippi and Memphis area? Not so much! Lol. They were very dramatic, very judgmental, very hateful people. Little wonder why the murder counts are so high in that area, I guess. Lived there 7 years, and will never go back.
Its one thing to say the south is not for you, but this is over the top IMO. Blanket, stereotypical assertions about a certain group are the things bigotry and racism are made of. Something to think about...
I've lived in the south for 17 years now and still have moments of culture shock, there are many things I don't care for and don't agree with, while there are many things I am grateful to have been exposed to and had my mind opened to. All cultures have value.
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  #104  
Old 03-14-2012, 10:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Danefied View Post
I am FASCINATED by this thread!
Its such an interesting conversation of how to use language to convey respect (or snark! ) and how we can manipulate language to our purposes.

I grew up speaking Spanish, and in Spanish you have no choice, you HAVE to chose how to address someone - either in the familiar or the formal. There is no escaping it, the language doesn't allow for a "neutral" form of addressing someone, because its tied in to the verb form you use. (Interestingly there is also no way to designate something as genderless either - as in "it").

I always used the formal "usted" with adults growing up, never thought a thing of it. Transitioning to "ma'am" when we moved south was fairly seamless for me. I don't see it as contrived or stodgy. Sure you can make it sound snarky, but its generally meant as common coutesy, much like you would say please or thank you to a bank teller - its not heartfelt, but its absence is considered a slight.

My children use "ma'am" with me and "sir" to my husband which throws my own mom in to coniptions (which is great incentive for me to encorage it in my kids ). Yes, I'm mature that way .
They don't use it because I force them to, but because that's just how we talk down here. I just as easily respond "yes ma'am?" to my daughter when she says "mama?" Or I say "ma'am" or "sir" to my students instead of "what" or "pardon" when I don't hear what they say. Again, not forced or contrived, simply common courtesy and manners. When in Rome do as the Romans do and all that. Its language and language DOES have meaning. When I address someone as "ma'am" I'm not elevating them in status or anything, I'm simply conveying respect for our interaction.




Its one thing to say the south is not for you, but this is over the top IMO. Blanket, stereotypical assertions about a certain group are the things bigotry and racism are made of. Something to think about...
I've lived in the south for 17 years now and still have moments of culture shock, there are many things I don't care for and don't agree with, while there are many things I am grateful to have been exposed to and had my mind opened to. All cultures have value.
Very well expressed. As usual, a very sound, thoroughly explained post.
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"If you love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen." -- Samuel Adams 1776





"When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty."

Thomas Jefferson
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  #105  
Old 03-14-2012, 11:14 AM
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LauraLeigh LauraLeigh is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miakoda View Post
Ummm. Wow.

I'm "from the south". I live in southern Louisiana. Just thought I'd clear the air with that first.

With that mentioned, I find it somewhat humorous, and somewhat sad (pathetic even), that you so blantantly assume what us rude southerners are really meaning when we say "ma'am" and "sir". And it kinda angers me that you have the audacity to actually tell us what we truly mean, yet it seems that none of us have actually had any of that cross our minds.

It doesn't take nulear physicist to differentiate a polite/respectful "yes ma'am" from a sarcastic one.

To me, saying "yes/no ma'am" and "yes/no sir" are polite and do imply a level of respect and courtesy, especially when directed at my seniors. And to the general perception of people in the south (yes, I'm making a generalization, but seeing as how I was born and raised here and have lived here for over 30 years as well as have traveled a heckuva lot from Texas to GA, I feel that I have a little bit of qualification to do so), saying "ma'am" and "sir" are considered to be polite and courteous words.

And heaven help you if your momma called out your name and you replied with a loud "WHAT?!".........

Everyone has the right to their own personal beliefs. But the above-quoted post is the kind that irritates the stew outta me because this is putting insinuations behind our words that simply are not true.

As for all us southerners just constantly going around and telling people to "f**k off", well......I just cannot even come back with a response to such an asinine remark.

If people really want a taste of the south, come tailgate before an LSU football game. It doesn't matter who you are, where you're from, the color of your skin, or even if you dare to wear the colors supporting the opposing team, you will find yourself having a bunch of rude southerners demand that you stop and eat some good food, have a few drinks, and take part in some fun conversation. As far as "f**k you"s go, that's not too bad of one.

Just reading this thread, and have to agree with you...

I don't mind being called Ma'am and LOVE the south.. Yes it's different than Canada but both hubby and are are so taken with the areas we have spent time in we seriously considered moving there... It was a breath of fresh air and we found "Southern Hospitality" made us "nice" Canadians seem nasty!!

We have spent a TON of time in the Eden NC area, and have made friends with folks from that area who came up for our daughters wedding, we have spent less time in the Bristol TN area, but loved it as well...

I love the part of the South we know, so much so I wish I could live there!

We are riding down in July for a couple weeks, can't wait!!
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  #106  
Old 03-14-2012, 11:47 AM
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Yes, it makes me feel old
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