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Old 03-07-2012, 06:37 PM
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*blackrose *blackrose is offline
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Mississippi
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Default What would you do? (living situation)

Ultimately, I'll be going with what my gut says...but it is very conflicted right now and I'd like to get some outside opinions of people who have been there, done that, wish they had done something different. This is going to be long, and for that I apologize.

I will be graduating from college this winter. I'm going to start working full time in May as a vet assistant/groomer assistant/kennel tech/jack of all trades at the clinic I currently work part time at. I'm only taking a class or three this fall, so I will continue to work full time while finishing up my degree.

Up until this point, I have lived at home with my family (parents, three younger siblings). Now that I will have a consistent income, I finally have the opportunity to move out and get my own place. This is where my dilemma starts and I'm just not sure what to do. I know in the end I will make a decision I'm confident with, but getting to that point takes a bit for me.

This is a bit of a tangle of everything, so I'll try to make it as clear as I can. It helps that both situations are almost polar opposite of one another. LOL

1.) Don't move out, stay at home for another year.
This makes the most sense financially. I will be working full time with my only costs being what I choose to buy for my personal pleasure, my animals, my phone, my car, and gas to put in my car. I'm currently doing this making $400 a month. When I start work full time, this will give quite a bit of extra money that I can put into savings.
We're quite a commute in and out of town (about 20-30 minutes, depending on where I'm going), so it isn't easy for me to just pop home and then head out again, but the gas/time spent really can't be compared to what I would be spending on rent for my own place in town.

Mentally, however, I'm not sure I can take it. I love my family. I get along well with my family. But I'm not sure how much longer I can take being, well, a kid. Having to base my decisions and my choices and my whims on, "Will my parents allow that?" or "Gosh, my sister is going to be around..." is getting old very quickly. I want to be ME and make MY decisions.
I walked in the door the other night after being gone almost all week and my stress levels just skyrocketed. A big part of that, I think, is that I currently don't have my own space - I share a room with my sister and I don't have anything that is "mine". What is truly mine (my bed, my clothes, my computer, etc., etc.) is constantly being used by other people and I can't take it any more. This could potentially be taken care of by giving me my own room in the basement, but...I'm still living with them.

It would likely just be for another year. And if it got to be too much I could try to find my own place (although most leases are available in August due to classes). But...I just don't know.

2.) Move out, get my own place.
I would be moving out in August, most likely, so that would give me three months to work my butt off and save up some money. It won't be a lot, but it will be better than what I have now. Once I start making rent payments, however, I will likely be living paycheck to paycheck and the chance of having extra money to stow away is slim to none.

The perks? I WILL BE ON MY OWN. All of the things that are issues about staying at home would be non existent.
(I've already looked at one apartment, and will be looking at two more next Monday, and potentially two more as well. The landlord for one apartment is someone we know through our church, and I just found out that the person I will be going through for two of the other apartments I'm interested in is someone my brother went to highschool with and is an old friend.)

So basically, I can either be really well off financially and cope with staying at home, or live pay check to pay check, but finally feel like I'm holding my own and living my life. (And I could get a puppy. ^^) I now know exactly what my Behavior and Wellbeing class was talking about when it said that the perception of having choice is in and of itself an increase in wellbeing.

Also, to further complicate matters, I have my boyfriend. I've been staying over at his place almost every other night. I think I'm at his place more than I am home now, simply because I'm happier there than at home. We've kind of discussed me just moving in, but his dad would frown on it, my parents would frown on it, I'm not sure it is a good idea as he is in a tiny little one bedroom flat (with a year left on the lease), everybody I know with successful marriages says it isn't a good idea to live with one another before marriage...
But, regardless, our current situation is working out just fine. Whether or not I get my own place or still live at home, I will likely be spending a lot of time over at his place. My cousin told me tonight that she and her fiance had separate apartments and that it was the stupidest thing they had ever done, because they were paying two rents, but they were either at one place or the other. I tend to agree, which is making this decision even harder.

So. Advice?! I just keep talking myself in a circle and everyone keeps telling me different things and I just don't know anymore.
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