Wow, guys, thanks for the responses. I...really don't know how to feel. I mean, it's great that there might be an explanation to the problem, but at the same time...it's kind of a hard blow. I thought autism was always diagnosed as a child? Why am I just now finding answers? I'm seriously considering visiting psychiatrist of some sort, just to get some definite answers. I'm intrigued.
Bax, as I read that link you gave me, I feel as if they were describing me to a "t." Some of the things I didn't mention were mentioned on that site, and...wow. Asperger's is looking to be a very real possibility. It explains SO much.
Maxy, see, I'm not shy at all. I KNOW my friends love me and want me to engage in conversations with them, but I'm SO AWKWARD about it, I just shut up, because it's embarrassing for me to hear myself try to sputter out words and sound ridiculous doing it.
Heck, even my posts here are choppy and without much emotion. I see everyone having friends on here, and joking around and having fun, and I just CAN'T DO THAT. As soon as the conversation moves away from dogs, I really don't know what the say, or if I want to say something, how to say it without sounding awkward and obnoxious.
That's what I want. I want to learn how to communicate, but with this potential "diagnosis", is that even possible??
Dreeza and Sael, I am going to look into those readings you recommended. But first, I want to get a definite diagnosis. I was afraid because I didn't want to face the fact that I was beyond help, but I'm already starting to face it, so I might as well plunge headfirst and get some professional opinions.
But wow, I still can't get over how "me" that link you gave is, Bax.
Lack of empathy.
Forced eye contact.
Very jerky and awkward movements.
Very sensitive to loud noises and bright lights.
It's all there.