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  #31  
Old 12-31-2011, 12:27 AM
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There was one, once, that I didn't think I was going to make it through. Felt like half my soul had been ripped away, and it was senseless, like this.

I spent the better part of three months lying in bed at night until exhaustion took over, listening to "Nothing Else Matters" on repeat on the iPod. Literally cried myself to sleep most nights. Cried until I puked a few times.

I'm good now. Better than I've ever been, actually. Weirdly.

Check your profile page messages.
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  #32  
Old 12-31-2011, 06:24 AM
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Urgh this is no fun

Maybe things will resolve, maybe they won't... either way you KNOW you're not going to feel like this forever, and that's what you have to hold on to.

I am with the only person I have ever wanted a future with, and I can't lie, that insecure little part of me sometimes wonders what would happen if he just changed his mind... morbid curiosity killed the cat eh!

I think the not knowing why he changed his mind bit is the bit that would kill me..... I hate that. But in the face of not knowing, you have to try and eek the positives from it... if he did this to you, and made you feel this bad, then how could he be the one? Maybe this is because you haven't actually met them yet.
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  #33  
Old 12-31-2011, 09:07 AM
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Speaking as the crazy old dog lady who is awfully happy about it, there are worse things! YOu can eat when you want. YOU can take the car when you want. YOur money is your money. You can go on dates if you want or not if you want. When the dogs tear up the water bed and the feather pillows and you come home finding wet feathers hanging from the ceiling and the clothes in the closet there is no one to say "YOUR GD DOGS >>>>" even if they were his dogs too. No one makes fun of your friends, or sees nasty things in your art that you did not put there. My list could go on for hours. I had a fellow I dated a couple years back, he flew up for the weekend for a few months. The first time I was happy to see him, then worn out by the time he left, then dreaded his coming. The last time I said "don't come back". He broke me of the whining for a fella for the rest of my life. So if you do end up 50 and on your own, you just might not mind it as much as you think!!!! I am sorry you are going through the emotional wreckage of a break up. I don't miss having my heart yanked out of me and served on a plate. Try to enjoy yourself, be free, be happy about it and then maybe in the future things will work out with someone but if they don't........it won't matter. would I like a hug, sure, would I like someone bitching all day about this or that, nada.- My Mom felt the same way after 27 years of marriage and has never looked back. She had had enough of that.
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  #34  
Old 01-09-2012, 07:16 PM
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Ugh. I'm still heartbroken. But I'm surviving, and enjoying my job(s) and my dogs...

thing is I can't stop talking to him! Not often, just stupid stuff... but still.

And I really, really want him back in my bed but I'm sure I'll end up dead, right?? Tell me I'd die. Because it's really hard not to have him over right now... I have this irrational feeling that "at least I'll have a foot in the door..." and maybe he'll remember we were awesome at one point.

But apparently I'm really stressful - he said "I needed to break up with you I feel bad but I'm more relaxed and being me more" WTF?! I don't think I'm that difficult
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The Plotts:
UKC GRCH 'PR' Hannas Creek Liz
CCH 'PR' Jebb's Bayou Rage CA

And the "off-colored" hounds:
Daisy Duke Garrett CGC, RA & my <3 dog (basset)

Very Missed:
UKC GRCH CCH 'PR' Skyplott Teddy Bearhug
UKC CH CCH 'PR' Hannas Creek Irresistible You
'PR' Dead River K-N-A Swagger - the BAD puppy!
(and Autumn, the feist.)
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  #35  
Old 01-09-2012, 07:39 PM
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All I can do is send you some big HUGS! And thats a terrible thing to hear, I hope life starts to straighten out for you and you get back on path. Break ups can be suck a **** off!
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  #36  
Old 01-09-2012, 07:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PlottMom View Post
Ugh. I'm still heartbroken. But I'm surviving, and enjoying my job(s) and my dogs...

thing is I can't stop talking to him! Not often, just stupid stuff... but still.

And I really, really want him back in my bed but I'm sure I'll end up dead, right?? Tell me I'd die. Because it's really hard not to have him over right now... I have this irrational feeling that "at least I'll have a foot in the door..." and maybe he'll remember we were awesome at one point.

But apparently I'm really stressful - he said "I needed to break up with you I feel bad but I'm more relaxed and being me more" WTF?! I don't think I'm that difficult
Quote from the break up girl bible, "He is just not that into you"
(I used to keep these ON MY WALL)

On the "I miss you.."

Don't be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You're deeply missable. However, he's still the same person who just broke up with you. Remember, the only reason he can miss you is because he's choosing, every day, not to be with you.

Everyone wants to be loved and needed, particularly by the person who just broke up with us. I understand. What could be better than hearing from the man who just told you he didn't want you in his life anymore ... his sad, wistful, "I miss you so much" voice on the other end of the phone? It's validating. It's exciting. It's irresistible. But resist you must.

A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the woman he loves. If he's not calling you to tell you he loves you and wants you back, it should only be because he's showing up at your new residence to do it in person ... if he's not doing any of that, he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you. Stop taking his calls and let him know what it's like to live without you.


ON BREAK UPs

Breakups, are supposed to be just that. Breaks. Hard, clean breaks. No talking, no seeing, no touching ... keep your hands to yourself. The relationship is over. Half the people I know move after a huge breakup, and frankly that makes perfect sense to me. You're not supposed to sleep with the guy who just broke your heart a week ago.

Fine. Next time I'm in this situation I'll cry. Stay in bed and wail. Go to the gym if I can. Call all my friends and burden them with my misery. Sleep too much. Cry some more. See my therapist more often. Get a puppy. Do whatever I have to so eventually I can move on.

Breakup sex still means you're broken up.

Cut him off. Let him miss you.

He doesn't need to be reminded that you're great.

There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.

The reason it's so painful when someone disappears is you have to face the fact that the person you loved had probably left you a long time before he grabbed his coat and scrammed. The part part is realizing that he was lying to you, in some way, before the moment of vanishing.

Don't give him the chance to reject you again.

No matter how powerful and real your feelings may be for someone, if that person cannot fully and honestly return them and therefore actively love you back, these feelings mean nothing.

Being lonely ... being alone ... for many people ... sucks. I get it, I get it, I get it. But still I have to say that yes, my belief is that being with somebody who makes you feel crappy or doesn't honor the person you are is worse.

Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.

You deserve to be with someone who is nice to you all the time.

ON GETTING BACK TOGETHER:
Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision. Just remember that the person you are getting back together with is the same person who, not long before, looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your qualities, and told you that he was no longer in need of your company.



I'm sorry to be this girl. I know these things hurt to read and hurt to hear but somebody needs to say them and please dear god, you need to REALLY LISTEN TO THEM.

Sweetie, you deserve better.
You deserve somebody who loves you, in all your awesomeness, and who looks at you and knows there is nobody in the world he would rather be with.

I don't think he's this evil guy... I think he's a young guy who went way in over his head very early in life and needs time to just be.. a guy. a single guy. and atleast he is being honest with you.

and now it's time for you to be honest with yourself

Forget what you feel.
and remember what you DESERVE

and what you deserve is not this guy or holding onto a relationship that isn't there anymore.

and I say this because I HAVE BEEN THERE. Right where you are now.
and I know what it's like to think "Oh well having him in my life as something is better than nothing"
No.
He isn't fit to be your friend, your sex buddy, or your anything right now. It will only make the pain worse the more you avoid the dirty truth that this relationship is over.

Turn the page and move on. and only then, when both of you have grown and experienced and healed from this.. can you even consider becoming anything with each other.
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  #37  
Old 01-09-2012, 07:54 PM
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PlottMom PlottMom is offline
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He's not young he's an old man. Lol

And this has nothing to do with me trying to fool myself into thinking he misses me - it has everything to do that now that I'm not having se umpteen times a day I'm breaking out seriously though... I know it's a bad idea.
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Katie

The Plotts:
UKC GRCH 'PR' Hannas Creek Liz
CCH 'PR' Jebb's Bayou Rage CA

And the "off-colored" hounds:
Daisy Duke Garrett CGC, RA & my <3 dog (basset)

Very Missed:
UKC GRCH CCH 'PR' Skyplott Teddy Bearhug
UKC CH CCH 'PR' Hannas Creek Irresistible You
'PR' Dead River K-N-A Swagger - the BAD puppy!
(and Autumn, the feist.)
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  #38  
Old 01-09-2012, 07:56 PM
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OutlineACDs OutlineACDs is offline
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What Fran said. All of it.

Everyone has to make their own mistakes and live their own lives, but you'll be better off for it if you just break it off.

No what if's, because if he wants to make it happen, it will happen. No amount of pushing on your part will make it any easier. Just let it go. Call someone else to talk, dont call him. If he wants to hear from you, he will call you.

Like what Fran said, I'm not trying to sound mean, but I've been there too. Was with a guy going on 6 years and he broke it off. I did what you want to do. I was no better off for it, I learned my lesson and I finally let it go. My life is so much better now, over a year later, but at the time, I couldn't see anything else but him.
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  #39  
Old 01-09-2012, 07:59 PM
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Oh I wasn't even referring to the sex really..I was talking about this

Quote:
Originally Posted by PlottMom View Post
I have this irrational feeling that "at least I'll have a foot in the door..." and maybe he'll remember we were awesome at one point.
(
lol cause that is a mighty dangerous road..

But if it's really just the sex then I found that the gym helps.. come home exhausted, take a shower, fall into bed and just crash lol

Oh and breakups for some reason=break outs for some lol. It's probably a combo of lack of sex and bad food lol plus I don't know about you but post-breakup I tend to go into a pretty bad "I'm just gonna lay in bed and not shower" phase.. lol
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  #40  
Old 01-09-2012, 08:32 PM
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Renee750il Renee750il is offline
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Wait . . . how old is "old?"

I might have some insight into that territory for you
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In a controversy the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves. ~Buddha

Stupid is the most notoriously incurable and contagious disease known to mankind. If you find yourself in close proximity to someone infected with stupid, walk away as soon as said infection is noted.


There are few things more nauseating than pure obedience. ~ Kvothe

***8206;"silence is the language of god, all else is poor translation."
Rumi
Be a god. Know when to shut up.


Good Kharma Tags
Felurian
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