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  #31  
Old 08-28-2011, 09:12 PM
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AdrianneIsabel AdrianneIsabel is offline
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Soft is such an interesting, relative, analysis of a dog.

So many people really have trouble with dogs that need a creative hand. Funny enough Malinois are very commonly handler soft dogs, it is one of the most complicated things many handlers experienced with these dogs at the beginning. The corrections they can handle in bite work (many of them) are paramount compared to the corrections they can handle in obedience.

Backup, my male, is frustrating but has taught me to be a far more creative trainer and seek a much more positive method in my training. Anyone else and he's all tooth and nail, a stern no or leash pop from me and he's lost.

ETA, I guess also I've noticed the biggest difference of my mals and my apbt, though both handler soft, is that the apbt are far more forgiving. The Malinois tend to hold grudges and react in one way or another, unlike my apbt who try and try again and when that fails it's a begging smothering mess of "love me, please!"
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Last edited by AdrianneIsabel; 08-28-2011 at 09:23 PM.
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  #32  
Old 08-28-2011, 09:50 PM
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Well, I certainly hope you can get him back to the breeder if you don't think he belongs with you. The only "soft" mastiff I have ever met was a Dogue de Bordeaux at the dog daycare I used to work at but they are big mooshes. I don't think I would ever have a Fila to be honest, I just don't know enough about them to actually have one but I do like them.
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  #33  
Old 08-28-2011, 10:13 PM
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You need to have a strong bond with a Fila. If it's not your dog . . . it is SO not your dog.

Not sure exactly what you mean by "soft" in this case. That's one of those very subjective, relative terms. Overall, though, it's a very good thing that Filas are very owner-centric, even at their most independent, "I'll get back to you when I'm finished with my IMPORTANT stuff." Especially then. They do get back to you, lol, just on their own schedule. No true Fila will ever be an obedience champ . . . unless he or she just happens to be in the mood to show everyone else up at the right time.

They hold grudges -- against anyone except their family, and even then they just might get a little even with you for something, so it's a very good thing they have a big soft place for us. The bond is a really different one, and it's not the kind of bond that most people are prepared to commit to so fully. The intensity is . . . beyond.
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  #34  
Old 08-28-2011, 11:34 PM
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I didn't want to go into details, but I see I'll have to in order to justify something that I really should not have to justify to anyone.

Everything you're saying about a Fila... my pup is not. My pup has NO independence AT ALL. He will not leave my sight. He will not let ME leave his sight, without pitching a fit. To sum it up on one word - this dog is obsessed. When I say that he is soft, I mean that if I even look at him wrong, he falls over himself, half-rolling over and half trying to keep eye contact with the tip of his tail wagging... begging for forgiveness for something he didn't even do. When I try to train him, he just falls into me and stares at me with lovey eyes. When I try to move, he leans into more. I should video it... I have NEVER met a dog like this in my life. And honestly - I don't know what the hell to do with it. No matter HOW I act to him, he does the same thing - falling over himself and me, staring at me like a lovestruck puppy... which I guess he is. Renee... you say it nicely when you say their intensity is beyond. I need a dog who can think on its own and show some independence... and this puppy has not, ever. And it's only getting worse. So yes, I am sorry if I was unprepared for the extreme level of devotion exuded by this dog. NOTHING I have read about them, including pages and pages about "owner devotion" could have prepared me for this. I consider Ruger devoted - he checks in with me, he loves me... he is devoted. This puppy cannot function without me at his side, and it's made life hell for both of us.

ETA: I should add that things are being sorted out as the breeder got into contact with me.
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  #35  
Old 08-28-2011, 11:51 PM
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How old is the puppy and how long have you had him? Surely this is just a case of a young dog being unsure?

I might be totally wrong as I don't know Filas at all. I do think he needs to get out of your home ASAP though. To me, he sounds lovely!
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  #36  
Old 08-28-2011, 11:54 PM
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I'm glad things got sorted and the little guy is back with his breeder.
Sometimes things don't work out, and I hope he finds a lovely home with somebody who thinks he is perfect

At least this is something you were honest with yourself about and dealt with early so the pup had a fighting chance at another home and not enough time to really get attached to you.

It's really funny how people like different things in dogs. The kind of behavior you describe sounds really adorable to me lol I would love a puppy like that, I totally melt when it comes to puppy dog eyes
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  #37  
Old 08-29-2011, 12:01 AM
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This breaks my heart for the pup, Especially after what Renee has said about their devotion, reminds me of the phrase " the dog that loved too much." I'd suggest contacting a behaviorist but since he'll be back with his breeder I wish him the best. Poor kiddo!
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  #38  
Old 08-29-2011, 12:11 AM
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I wouldn't want a dog like that either Teal. I don't like any degree of uncertainty in any dog of any age. I want confidence from the get-go, I want a pup that you can rough around with and it will take it in the spirit you intended. If that clingyness is some special kind of devotion I don't want that either. I don't if I'd use the term independent simply for a dog that could stay by itself and wanted to explore the world.

My shepherd was too clingy on walks when he was an 8 week old pup, not ideal but I'm not going to complain too much. He's GSD, not an "independent" dog but within a week was frolicking around a 15'-20' radius around me when we went out. That is about perfect to me. Confident but handler-oriented/a little clingy.

Different strokes for different folks! I'm glad you've got it sorted
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  #39  
Old 08-29-2011, 12:47 AM
Teal Teal is offline
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He is in no way an insecure dog... he was insecure with the new environment when he first came home, for a week or two, but he is confident and outgoing now. Except, that he won't leave me alone! He has been here for several months, and he went from the two insecure weeks to about two-three weeks as a "normal" dog before his clinginess to me started escalating. It is to the point now that when I leave the crate room, he screams and throws himself against the crate. I can't put him outside alone, because he'll just lean on the door and whine. I've watched him from areas he can't see me from when he does this - he isn't stressing out like a dog with separation anxiety really, he is more just desperate to be with me. It's hard to explain LOL

Adrianne - Don't think it isn't breaking my heart either. A huge part of me wanted to try to work it out simply for the sake of the poor dog's devotion... but in reality, that is not how things work.

Fran - There was no issue with being honest with myself over it. The dog isn't working out, he isn't my type of dog. It's that simple.
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  #40  
Old 08-29-2011, 08:41 AM
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Oh, when they are young they want to be with you all. the. time. You can't go into the bathroom without them following, and if you're quick enough with the door they sit outside and keen until you come out . . . These are dogs who will die for you and they really deserve that kind of commitment in return. Not everyone is up for that, and better you find out now than later.

The bitches, while no less committed, have a bit more dignity about their demonstrations of devotion, especially when adolescence kicks in, lol. Males are shameless.
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