Learning to work

[Lizmo]

I had to write a paper of 200 words (oops, it was 218 I think, lol) for my English class using 'exact' words. I wrote about Blaze and a glimpse into our stockdog training. Since I never post pictures, I thought I'd post this.
Some of this is exaggerated a little, lol. He doesn't run off in a mad dash to take out the sheep, lol, he's nice about it.

Learning to work stock

Blaze and I walk with ease to the stock. Blaze’s ears quickly turn into prick ears when he sees his stock, and his tail instantaneously goes into the J shape. Our trainer will gather the sheep into a circle with her wise dog, while Blaze watches with growing intensity. I will then let him off leash and BOOM! He’s gone. Off in a mad dash to gather up his sheep and bring them to me. As I hurriedly stuff the leash in my pocket I walk briskly to restore order to the situation. As I reach him I let him bring the sheep to me, me walking backwards with him behind his sheep moving them along at a hefty pace. I then walk in a large circle so he can continue to circle his flock without much pressure. I then rapidly step in between him and the sheep and make him turn and circle them in the opposite direction. After changing directions a few times and having the sheep balanced between the two of us, I raise my hands high in the air and say with power “Blaze, lie down! Lie down!” He promptly drops to the ground in exhaustion. We both happily walk out of the field with an air of pride between us.

[Zoom]

Originally Posted by Lizmo

Learning to work stock

Blaze and I walk with ease to the stock. Blaze’s ears quickly turn into prick ears when he sees his stock, and his tail instantaneously goes into the J shape. Our trainer will gather the sheep into a circle with her wise dog, while Blaze watches with growing intensity. I will then let him off leash and BOOM! He’s gone. Off in a mad dash to gather up his sheep and bring them to me. As I hurriedly stuff the leash in my pocket I walk briskly to restore order to the situation. As I reach him I let him bring the sheep to me, me walking backwards with him behind his sheep moving them along at a hefty pace. I then walk in a large circle sohe can continue to circle his flock without much pressure. I then rapidly step in between him and the sheep and make him turn and circle them in the opposite direction. After changing directions a few times and having the sheep balanced between the two of us, I raise my hands high in the air and say with power “Blaze, lie down! Lie down!” He promptly drops to the ground in exhaustion. We both happily walk out of the field with an air of pride between us.

You change tenses a couple of times at the beginning and there are a few sentence fragments, but I like the picture you paint.

Can you explain to me what "exact" words are supposed to be? I like the piece but in places it sort of comes across like a rough translation of another language.

[Lizmo]

Well, it's not really supposed to be about having everything flow. It's meant to learn to use more exact words.

An example they use is:

Vagua - I got five dollars for mowing grass.

Exact - I earned five dollars for mowing grass.

[Zoom]

Ah, ok.

It's the English major in me coming out...I can't remember what we called this, but now I understand better.

[Lizmo]

Originally Posted by Zoom

It's the English major in me coming out...I can't remember what we called this, but now I understand better.

Haha, don't worry. I get it all the time from a friend who's an English buff.