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  #1  
Old 01-29-2009, 07:27 PM
GreenFireflyGirl's Avatar
GreenFireflyGirl GreenFireflyGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Ontario
Posts: 38
Default post this low on the fridge:

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king- sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:


To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it 'fur'niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.


Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children
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  #2  
Old 01-29-2009, 08:33 PM
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bubbatd bubbatd is offline
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Posts: 64,812
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Loved it !!
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http://mauzysmusings.blogspot.com/
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  #3  
Old 01-30-2009, 12:16 PM
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skittledoo skittledoo is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 13,569
Default

Totally being printed and posted on the fridge hahahaha
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Cricket- Mexican Street dog (we think Xolo mix)
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Itztli- Standard size coated Xoloitzcuintle
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  #4  
Old 01-31-2009, 12:20 AM
Phoenixangelwyngs Phoenixangelwyngs is offline
Zookeeper Extraordinaire!
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ames, Iowa
Posts: 837
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I actually want to print the part of this about the people who don't live here and put it in the window of my front door.

Soooo tired of people who come over and complain about my pets and the fur everywhere.
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Thanks to Sizzledog for le Siggy D'AWESOME!
Abusing Animals and Feeding CRAP since.... ALWAYS!
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  #5  
Old 01-31-2009, 09:23 AM
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Barb04 Barb04 is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 27,105
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Oh so true and my pets ARE my children!
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  #6  
Old 01-31-2009, 12:33 PM
Phoenixangelwyngs Phoenixangelwyngs is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ames, Iowa
Posts: 837
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Agreed!
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Thanks to Sizzledog for le Siggy D'AWESOME!
Abusing Animals and Feeding CRAP since.... ALWAYS!
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  #7  
Old 03-15-2009, 06:24 PM
Trail Dog Trail Dog is offline
Always on the Trail
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Toms River, NJ
Posts: 2
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My Pets are my kids too, and I have this by the door....

These are my pets,
I love them the best.
This is their home,
You are the guest.

So if you should find my pet a peeve,
Then by all means, feel free to leave!

Author Unknown
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