Dog Site - Dog Stuff
Dog Forum | Dog Pictures

Go Back   Chazhound Dog Forum > Dog Discussions and Dog Talk Forums > Dogs - General Dog Chat


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 03-29-2013, 12:39 PM
Dogdragoness's Avatar
Dogdragoness Dogdragoness is offline
<------ CLAIM! ^_^
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Gillett/San Antonio TX
Posts: 3,566
Default How long til you "know" a dog isn't working out?

Hello all, as you know I adopted an adult rescue last year & he is a great dog, but sometimes I wonder if he is really working out or not or if we are a good match.

Let me try to explain: he came to us with some issues: he hated leashes & collars & still does but has gotten tolerant of them, but I don't think he will ever "like" them or be enthusiastic about them. I am not forceful with him at all but when I am working on or with something else (like my lawn equipment for example) & it's giving me fits & I curse & act frustrated towards it, he goes & hides.

I can assure you that while I used to be a crank & yank/swat on the butt trainer but as Josefina grew I abandoned that style of training & never looked back, I started using variations of NILF with her but if I try that with him he just shuts down & withdraws.

I have not been able to move past this, I blame a bad upbringing because he seems to be a otherwise well bred dog (temperament & physically speaking) so I don't think it is a bred-in issue, I think it was an environment issue.

It almost seems as though he has PTSD or something ... Any tips on helping him? I really don't want to call the rescue & tell them it's not working out (though I would be willing to keep him as a foster in the event that it would be the best thing for him to go to another home).

I just want the best for him, I want him to be happy ... Even if that means not with me
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 03-29-2013, 12:49 PM
meepitsmeagan's Avatar
meepitsmeagan meepitsmeagan is offline
Meagan&TheCattleDogCrew
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Southwest Michigan
Posts: 2,654
Default

I had a lot of the same issues of "Oh my doG, I made the biggest mistake" when I first adopted Rider. He came with so much baggage.. and honestly, the thing that helped us the most? Training classes. Once I got into Nosework with him, got him out and about more, got more involved in specific things to work on with him it was like a switch went off. He's still weird and pees on the floor sometimes and licks my sheets, but as far as our connection and feeling he wasn't a good fit, it is completely gone. Which is crazy, because just a few weeks ago, I was having thoughts (again) about rehoming him.

You have to do what is right for you. Have you talked to the rescue at all about the issues you have been having?
__________________


Harlow 2010 Boxer :: Rider 2012 ACDx :: Tulsa 2014 ACD

http://trailingcattle.blogspot.com/
https://www.facebook.com/trailingcattle
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 03-29-2013, 12:57 PM
StillandSilent StillandSilent is offline
Top Dog
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,204
Default

With my current foster, I knew that she was not the dog for me within two weeks. That was fine, I took her as foster only, but she just grates on my nerves as a pet. There aren't any other foster homes available for her, or that can provide better then I can, so she's stayed (four months now, dear God), but I'm looking forward to her being gone.

So you can know very, very, quickly.
__________________

Booty Dancing In Heaven 10/13/03-9/15/12
As much as I try to be one of those easygoing 'spread your wings and fly' types, I just can't stop trying to burst people into flames with my mind.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 03-29-2013, 01:09 PM
Dogdragoness's Avatar
Dogdragoness Dogdragoness is offline
<------ CLAIM! ^_^
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Gillett/San Antonio TX
Posts: 3,566
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by StillandSilent View Post
With my current foster, I knew that she was not the dog for me within two weeks. That was fine, I took her as foster only, but she just grates on my nerves as a pet. There aren't any other foster homes available for her, or that can provide better then I can, so she's stayed (four months now, dear God), but I'm looking forward to her being gone.

So you can know very, very, quickly.
What about her "grates on your nerves"? Just curious.

Nothing about buddy grates on my nerves persay. We just aren't "bonding", you know? Josefina I raised from a puppy & have an instant bond with, even tho she frustrated the **** out of me as a puppy/youngster.

It's just when you give him a direction, he becomes nervous & shut down, even saying the word "no" makes him shut down even if its not said harshly.

I just feel like a Terrible person, he really is a wonderful dog ... But when I look at him I don't get the feeling that we are on the same wavelength like I am with Josefina
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 03-29-2013, 01:20 PM
StillandSilent StillandSilent is offline
Top Dog
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,204
Default

Quote:
What about her "grates on your nerves"? Just curious.
She's very needy. My preference is for a dog who likes being close, but not on top of me, and she's a very "OMG! OMG! I love you so much let me sit with you constantly and stare longingly at you and you are just the most fantastic thing that ever lived!" type of dog. She's been trained not to do that, but she sits on her mat or the bed and just looks miserable that she can't be with me.

She also treats strangers like they are her best friends, which I don't care for either. I prefer a more aloof dog.

That's not to say that she's not a wonderful animal, and that there are plenty of homes out there that will love both of those traits in her. Training can improve some of those things, but most of them are just Folly, and I will not break her natural temperment in an attempt to make her more pleasing to me. I do love her, and I take great care of her, but we just don't connect on the deeper level.

It actually sounds like you and I are feeling the same way. Gambit is very frustrating, but we're so bonded. I will miss Folly when she goes, but be very glad at the same time, because I know there is a family out there that she will feel that bond with, and be a treasure to them.
__________________

Booty Dancing In Heaven 10/13/03-9/15/12
As much as I try to be one of those easygoing 'spread your wings and fly' types, I just can't stop trying to burst people into flames with my mind.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 03-29-2013, 01:31 PM
Dogdragoness's Avatar
Dogdragoness Dogdragoness is offline
<------ CLAIM! ^_^
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Gillett/San Antonio TX
Posts: 3,566
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by StillandSilent View Post
She's very needy. My preference is for a dog who likes being close, but not on top of me, and she's a very "OMG! OMG! I love you so much let me sit with you constantly and stare longingly at you and you are just the most fantastic thing that ever lived!" type of dog. She's been trained not to do that, but she sits on her mat or the bed and just looks miserable that she can't be with me.

She also treats strangers like they are her best friends, which I don't care for either. I prefer a more aloof dog.

That's not to say that she's not a wonderful animal, and that there are plenty of homes out there that will love both of those traits in her. Training can improve some of those things, but most of them are just Folly, and I will not break her natural temperment in an attempt to make her more pleasing to me. I do love her, and I take great care of her, but we just don't connect on the deeper level.

It actually sounds like you and I are feeling the same way. Gambit is very frustrating, but we're so bonded. I will miss Folly when she goes, but be very glad at the same time, because I know there is a family out there that she will feel that bond with, and be a treasure to them.
Yes that's how I feel too ... He is a great dog & I wouldn't mind fostering him for the rescue, I just don't think he is going to progress beyond where he is now & our personalities just don't meld.

Neediness doesn't bother me. But he is also a dog that doesn't know a stranger & loves everyone ... While I like you like a more aloof dog.

SIGH I guess I am a destined puppy person ... Even though it is the long way around the dog you really want lol.
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 03-29-2013, 01:52 PM
Beanie's Avatar
Beanie Beanie is offline
Clicker Cult Coordinator
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Illinois
Posts: 13,421
Default

I agree with sassafrass, I'm not sure what the problem is exactly...


Honestly, I think you just have to really examine your heart and that is how you will know. Pepper and I have a long history of ups and downs and it was very difficult for me to make a decision on if she should stay or not. There's a huge list of reasons why she isn't the right kind of dog for me. Are we a good match personality wise? NOPE. Does she drive me crazy, and not in the good way that Payton drives me crazy? YES.

But what really matters is that I love her, she loves me, and my heart was broken without her here.
I had been dying for a puppy for YEARS but when it came time for her to move back with Auggie's breeder, the comment "Well, hopefully soon we will have puppies," was made, and my immediate gut reaction was "But I don't want a puppy. I want Pepper."
When the possibility of her being placed with somebody else came up I almost had a full-blown panic attack.


There are certain criteria I can think of that would make another home better for her. But there is one thing that makes me positive that she is in the right home. And that is Pepper herself.
She belongs here. That's just all there is to it.

I think if it's been a year and you're still thinking that you don't really like the dog, which it sounds like, I think that IS your answer.
__________________


Auggie - The Flash RN NAJ MXP MJP CGC
Payton - Sharp Dressed Man NA NAJ CGC
Pepper - Chocolate Swizz-l-icious
& the pest, Georgie - Peach Pudding N Pie NA OAJ
The Sheltiechick Blog
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 03-29-2013, 02:24 PM
Locke's Avatar
Locke Locke is offline
Top Dog
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 1,728
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by StillandSilent View Post
She's very needy. My preference is for a dog who likes being close, but not on top of me, and she's a very "OMG! OMG! I love you so much let me sit with you constantly and stare longingly at you and you are just the most fantastic thing that ever lived!" type of dog. She's been trained not to do that, but she sits on her mat or the bed and just looks miserable that she can't be with me.

She also treats strangers like they are her best friends, which I don't care for either. I prefer a more aloof dog.
That's so funny, she sounds like the ideal dog to me!



To DD - Have you made an effort to bond with him? Like Meagan said, a bond isn't necessarily automatic. Sometimes you need to find common ground through training or something and then it'll grow from there.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 03-29-2013, 01:06 PM
sassafras's Avatar
sassafras sassafras is offline
such sights to show you
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 5,750
Default

I'm confused about what you don't think is working out? This stuff?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dogdragoness View Post
Let me try to explain: he came to us with some issues: he hated leashes & collars & still does but has gotten tolerant of them, but I don't think he will ever "like" them or be enthusiastic about them. I am not forceful with him at all but when I am working on or with something else (like my lawn equipment for example) & it's giving me fits & I curse & act frustrated towards it, he goes & hides.
Are these things dealbreakers for you? Or is there something else that isn't working that you're concerned about?
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 03-29-2013, 04:03 PM
Shakou's Avatar
Shakou Shakou is offline
Top Dog
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 754
Default

I'll pretty much just copy my response from the other other forum :3

Knowing what I know now about Ma'ii, in truth, he probably isn't the best fit for us. He is terrible in cars (and we travel a LOT), is FAR to vocal, obnoxious, has issues focusing, is very leash reactive, and too smart for his own good. I blame a life of poor training and socialization since he spent his whole life living on a ranch and never got out beyond that setting (this dog had no idea how to even play when we first got him; we'd throw a ball and he'd look at us like we had six heads). But inspite of all that, we love him immensely, and he loves us. So rather then handing him off to someone else that may or may not be a "better fit", we've tweeked our lives and selves a bit to reach a happy medium that works for all of us, and never stopped working with him. He's still not what I envisioned my "perfect" dog to be, but we've moved mountains with him from what he was when he first came to stay with us.

If I could go back and do it all over again knowing what I know now about him, would I? I think I would. Preferably at a younger age, as I'm convinced it was his up bringing that has made him the way he is with the issues he has, but either way, it's been an invaluable learning experience. Ma'ii is actually the Navajo name for the Coyote spirit, who in legend is mischievous, deceptive, always getting into trouble and dragging those who cross his path into trouble as well....just like my dog. But they also teach us that there is wisdom in folly, and how to laugh at yourself when luck just isn't on your side, and that's my dog as well. When it comes right down to it, Ma'ii is an incredible dog who offers us a challenge as well as keeps us laughing.
__________________

"Ma'ii is always out there, waiting. And Ma'ii is always hungry." - Navajo proverb
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:12 AM.


1997-2013 Chazhound Dog Site