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Old 01-19-2013, 08:51 PM
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SpringerLover SpringerLover is offline
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Default I have a dilemma

My best friend in high school is at a very different point in her life than I am so we've kind of drifted apart and just talk occasionally. She's been texting me off and on for the last two years about her cat. He absolutely does not like her two children and despite moving into a house where he has a (finished) basement all to himself to retreat to, a huge litterbox that is scooped at least daily, and one-on-one time with both owners... he still poops outside the litterbox.

In theory, I could take him once I move as a "foster" but realistically... I don't know that he's a cat I could even place with anyone. He's really a 2 person cat and has never warmed up to anyone but his two owners. He barely tolerates my presence (or that of anyone). My friend is heartbroken over this and her husband is becoming increasingly upset about the whole situation (he is at the point of wanting the cat euthanized).

I really don't know what to do. Do I volunteer to take him after I move (and potentially have issues with my own "problem-child-cat")? Do I tell her that I'll take him to the vet to be euthanized? (He can't be an outside cat, he's been declawed in the front so sending him to that "mythical farm" isn't an option.)

I'm really, really sad for her. I don't think they'd ever do meds and I know they won't see a veterinary behaviorist. If I took him, I'd likely ask to have him put on meds to make the transition at least a little easier... but I still feel like that's a really poor choice on my part.

I definitely need advice.
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Old 01-19-2013, 09:04 PM
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Pandemonium Pandemonium is offline
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Has she tried two different cat boxes? Some cats are insistant on having 2, one for each job (our two cats have 3 boxes, but generally only use the 2), and try unscented litter too. Moving the box to a completely different area, away from his food may help, as well as having the boxes out of eyesight of people watching. Maybe he's shy LOL.

I don't know that fostering/rehoming is really going to be the answer sorry to say. Hope it all works out for the dude.
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Old 01-19-2013, 09:10 PM
stardogs stardogs is offline
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If the cat has to have meds just to live with you then I think it might well be more humane to euth if it comes to that. Different types of boxes, more boxes, different litter, all might help, though. Have they tried Feliway?

If they do euth, they should go with him to the vets' - he doesn't need the added stress of handling by strangers at the end of his life.
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Old 01-19-2013, 09:40 PM
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I'm not trying to sound harsh here, but honestly, I don't see it as a dilemma on your part- he's not going to fit into your household for various reasons. Don't feel bad for not being able to take him in/foster him. You have to think of your household first. If they choose to have him pts, and you're OK with taking him, that's what I would suggest. But, whatever you do, don't feel guilty that he doesn't fit into your household.
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Old 01-19-2013, 09:42 PM
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If my OH told me to euth one me my animals I don't know if our relationship could continue after that or if it did I dot know if it would be the same.

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Old 01-19-2013, 10:03 PM
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Has she tried one of those feliway pheremone plug in things? I've never used one personally, but they're supposedly extremely calming and work well. I think they cost around $30 or so. That's about the cost of a euth, so it might be worth a try to see if it helps.
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Old 01-19-2013, 10:27 PM
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My coworker was having an issue with her cats in regards to litterbox issues, she's had great luck with the Feliway diffusers.

I wouldn't feel bad about not being able to take in the cat, though.
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Old 01-20-2013, 08:49 AM
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Originally Posted by stardogs View Post
If they do euth, they should go with him to the vets' - he doesn't need the added stress of handling by strangers at the end of his life.
I absolutely agree with trying 2 litter boxes first....worked for more than one person I know.

And I also agree STRONGLY with the above from stardogs. Not only is it wrong for the cat, it's very wrong of your friend. IMO that = dumping in a kill shelter and walking off so you don't have to witness
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Old 01-20-2013, 10:24 AM
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*blackrose *blackrose is offline
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My mom was in a very similar situation with her cat, Pheobe.

Pheobe liked my mom. She did not like anyone else. She had attacked my siblings on numerous occasions and drawn major blood (and that was with no front claws). She was declawed, but even if she hadn't been, she would not have been a good canidate for an outdoor cat. She was much too flighty, and she hated other cats. She also hated dogs. She tolerated Chloe, but that was it.

She and Apollo got along fairly well. But when the outdoor cats came in to being, she became extremely stressed out. She would constantly try to attack them through the windows, even when they were just sitting there.

On top of it all, she hard recurrent UTIs that caused her to urinate all over the house. When she was on medication she was fine, but as soon as she stopped the meds she would start peeing everywhere again. It may have been stones, but mom couldn't afford to have them surgically removed if that was the case. It got to the point where trying to give her the pills twice a day was stressing her out beyond belief. The last few months of her life she essentially lived under my mom's bed.

Mom decided to euthanize, and I can't fault her for it. Yes, all of Pheobe's issues were "treatable"...but not feasible. I think mom did the best thing she could have done in the situation: she stopped Pheobe from being in discomfort and anxiety.
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Old 01-19-2013, 11:54 PM
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Could they build him an outdoor enclosure? With indoor access or some kind of shelter of course. That way he could be safe outside tho declawed.

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