Okay, this one's been around, but I still think it's hysterical.
The burglar knew he had a good night ahead of him. He'd checked out the house, the owners were away on vacation for two weeks, no alarm system, easy access, neighbors asleep early and a house full of electronic goodies, guns and jewelry.
As he busied himself opening the gun safe, he heard a noise. He jumped when a voice came out of the darkness:
"Jesus is watching you."
He shook his head, shined the flashlight where he knew the doorway was, and, seeing nothing, decided he shouldn't have had that last beer.
Back to the safe.
"Jesus is watching you."
At that point, he decided he must have heard something, but still didn't see anyone lurking in the room. He thought it might be a good idea to start loading up some of the small electronics, so just in case he had to leave quickly the night wouldn't be a total waste. He really shouldn't have had those last two beers.
"Jesus is watching you."
The burglar REALLY wished he hadn't had those last two beers and the rest of that joint before he started "work." His nerve broke, and he called out, "Who said that?"
"I did. Jesus is watching you."
He followed the voice and shined his light on the spot, revealing a large black mynah bird. "What are you?" he croaked at the bird, instantly feeling foolish for talking to it.
"I'm Moses."
"What kind of people name a bird Moses?" He really was going to have to lay off the booze.
"The same people who named their Pit Bull Jesus."
The burglar knew he had a good night ahead of him. He'd checked out the house, the owners were away on vacation for two weeks, no alarm system, easy access, neighbors asleep early and a house full of electronic goodies, guns and jewelry.
As he busied himself opening the gun safe, he heard a noise. He jumped when a voice came out of the darkness:
"Jesus is watching you."
He shook his head, shined the flashlight where he knew the doorway was, and, seeing nothing, decided he shouldn't have had that last beer.
Back to the safe.
"Jesus is watching you."
At that point, he decided he must have heard something, but still didn't see anyone lurking in the room. He thought it might be a good idea to start loading up some of the small electronics, so just in case he had to leave quickly the night wouldn't be a total waste. He really shouldn't have had those last two beers.
"Jesus is watching you."
The burglar REALLY wished he hadn't had those last two beers and the rest of that joint before he started "work." His nerve broke, and he called out, "Who said that?"
"I did. Jesus is watching you."
He followed the voice and shined his light on the spot, revealing a large black mynah bird. "What are you?" he croaked at the bird, instantly feeling foolish for talking to it.
"I'm Moses."
"What kind of people name a bird Moses?" He really was going to have to lay off the booze.
"The same people who named their Pit Bull Jesus."