My son is going to go live with his dad:( [Archive] - Chazhound Dog Forum

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Denaluvscorgis
08-06-2005, 10:43 AM
Hi everyone,

I'm still having some major issues with my son. He called me the other night to come pick him up at his friends house (12:30am on a work night), he was supposed to spend the night with him. When I got there, he was drunk as a dog, had no pants on. He talked and talked and talked to me about what he had done, and why he had done it. He at least had 14 shots of vodka and some kind of melon tequila. Well, needless to say, he was sick as a dog, and threw up at least 6 times. I was worried about alcohol poisioning, so I stayed up with him for three more hours. He spilled his guts to me. We had a good talk, he cried and cried. I have to admit that sometimes he was quite amusing, as he would repeat the same stories over and over again to me. I didn't get on his case at all that night, because I was proud of him calling me to come get him, and he was so drunk, and so sick. I did disconnect his cell phone indefinitely, and disconnected the internet. He is grounded for two weeks, or until he moves in with his Dad. It's going to be hard for me to let him go, but I really believe that he needs a firmer hand that his Dad can give to him. I'm too much of a softie, I fear.

Thursday night, my son had spent the night with his sister so that he could spend some time with her before she moves in a few weeks to Texas. He decided at 2am , on a work night, that he wanted to come home, so she brought him home. when he got home, he wanted to talk to me, and woke me up, and isisted that I needed to get up right now. I thought it was something important. He just wanted to be a butt and complain about how bad his life is, and how he doesn't want to go live with his Dad. I said "you woke me up out of a sound sleep on a work night for this"? Then I was really mad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :mad: How selfish is that? It could have waited till the morning and I would have been glad to talk to him then.

I'm probably going to need to vent to you all, and would love any advice you could give to me.

Does anyone know of a on line support group or forum that could help with my troubled teen and his anxiety and depression issues. I'm afraid that there have been more drugs and alcohol as well.

I love my son with all of my heart and my soul, and all I want for him is to have a wonderful life where he can work to his potential, where all of his hopes and dreams for his life can come true.

Thanks for listening guys.
Dena :D

bubbatd
08-06-2005, 11:35 AM
This is a rough time for you and for him ! How old is he?? How far away is his Dad from you ?? Does he have a step mom ???

EliNHunter
08-06-2005, 12:08 PM
Awww... Dena, I'm sorry. The troubling teen days... how I hated them (and regret what I was during that horrible period of my life). I feel for you. Vent all you want here...

Debi
08-06-2005, 12:09 PM
Aw, Dena...I feel so bad for you both. sounds like you're doing the right thing, at least maybe dad can step up for awhile and take all the pressure off of you. you also need a bit of a break. you're such a good mom. we all hate to see our kids have problems...it rips out your entire heart. I have no advice....just HUGS and support.

Renee750il
08-06-2005, 02:26 PM
What Debi said ;)

Saje
08-06-2005, 02:47 PM
Dena I think you are doing right by him. The first time I ever got REALLY drunk was in my parents basement with a couple of friends. I figured that they would be ok with it since I was old enough in that province (18) and they should be happy I was safe. Dad was ok with it but mom pulled me aside and really freaked me out. I knew I was in trouble and was trying so hard to act sober :rolleyes: What did I learn from that? I can't trust my mom when I'm drinking. And from then on if I was out partying and needed a ride I'd only call home if I knew dad was there. Not a good lesson I think. She didn't mean it. She just didn't understand it since she hardly ever has more than a glass of wine in her life and it didn't fit in with her perfect family plan. She's changed a lot since then. It's good your son knows that you are there for him and he can trust you. Friends are fickle at that age.

He probably does need counselling. And I don't know where to start to look for help. Maybe call around. Even the hospital could help point you in the right direction.

I can't really help but you have my support and lots of hugs.

((hugs))

smkie
08-06-2005, 05:13 PM
DEna, you have my complete empathy..my daughter "ran" to dad when she was 15. Came back pg. I could have brought her back but fact is she just would have taken off again. You know what i have gone thru with my boy. I still have one more to go and who knows what she will be like. Truly by the time they become this age all you can do is hope that what you taught them will stay with them and when they get over the self preoccupied, selfish..cant see that anyone on the planet matters but them and their problems..that they have REAL problems..that you are suppose to be only in the background called forth when needed, but invisible the rest of the time..(sound familiar?) when they get over it..they will return to the sanity of the "real world". If anyone would have said that my daughter and i would be friends i would say not possible. IF anyone would have said she would be helpful..i would have said no way..so maybe we parents of teens that are making us nuts need to have a chaz support group..if it wasn't for Zits..i would have drown myself in a bucket long ago. I nver could figure out how come Aaron's friends thought i was the "cool" mom and came to me with their problems and needs..when i couldn't drag 5 words out of my own boy in a week's time. He has admitted now that he is on his own that he listened to me more then he admitted, but he still has a long long way to go.

Denaluvscorgis
08-07-2005, 12:46 AM
Thanks Elinhunter... I appreciate that!!!

Denaluvscorgis
08-07-2005, 12:47 AM
Hugs and support are great Debi..I'll take all you have to give me.

HUG

Denaluvscorgis
08-07-2005, 12:49 AM
:D Thanks everyone.....I;ll keep you all posted.

(((HUGS))) to you all

Denaluvscorgis
08-08-2005, 03:43 PM
Hey everyone...thanks so much for all of your support. I appreciate the advice...personal stories....experience that you all have shared with me. (((Hugs))) back to you all, I know you've had some of the same experiences.

The good news is that we had a great weekend. We went to "Lost Lake", it's a gorgeous lake at the base of Mt Hood in Oregon...totally pristine. My husband, his daughter, her husband all of his family (it was his b-day) and my son went. My son stayed up there all weekend and camped with them. My son-in-law and his brothers are all musicians like my son. My son thinks the world of them. They're all in their early 20's and have all had the same sort of problems that my son is going through. They had some good talks with him while they were there, and they gave him some great advice. My said he felt in a way like he was re-born. He came home last night and we had a good talk. There is hope.

Thanks!!

bubbatd
08-08-2005, 03:48 PM
Wonderful news !!!